Bookworm ...

So here's my list from 2005. Not as long as I expected. Some were absolutely fantastic, and some were ... not. Most of the ones I've linked, along with the rereads, I passed along to my work book club group. Discovered non-fiction this year.

2005 Book List

FICTION:
The Bell Jar, Plath
By the River Piedra I Sat Down and Wept, Coelho
The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Nighttime,
Deception Point, Brown
The Lovely Bones, Sebold
Mrs. Dalloway, Woolfe
My Sister’s Keeper, Picoult
My Year of Meats, Ozeki
The Picture of Dorian Gray, Wilde
A Prayer for Owen Meany, Irving
The Princess Bride, Morgenstern
Rachel and Leah, Card
Shadow of the Giant, Card
Wiseblood, Flannery

NON-FICTTION:
Canaries on the Wind, Ward
David O. McKay and the Rise of Modern Mormonism, Prince
Freakonomics, Levitt and Dubner
Funny in Farsi, Dumas
He’s Just Not That Into You, Behrendt and Tuccillo
Me Talk Pretty One Day, Sedaris
The Motorcycle Diaries, Guevara
Queen Bees and Wanna Bees, Wiseman
Rough Stone Rolling. Bushman
Schoolgirls, Orenstein

Currently reading:
Adam, Eve, and the Serpent, Pagels
Beyond Belief, Pagels
Exuberance, Jamison
Disciples, Okazaki
The Fox Woman, Johnson
Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy
Sophie’s World, Gaarder
The World is Flat, Friedman

Reread Fiction:
Ahab’s Wife, Naslund
Bel Canto, Patchet
Blindness, Saramago
The Count of Monte Cristo, Dumas
Cyrano de Bergerac, Rostand
Ender’s Game, Card
Girl With a Pearl Earring, Chevalier
The Hours, Cunningham
In the Time of the Butterflies, Alvarez
Frankenstein, Shelley
Jane Eyre, Bronte
Mrs. Dalloway, Woolfe
Persuasion, Austen
The Red Tent, Diamant
Siddhartha, Hesse

Reread Non-fiction:
Color, Finlay
Complications, Gawande
Emperor of Scent, Burr
Refuge, Williams
Through Harsh Winters, Kikumura

A long walk down Memory Road

Have started the annual clean-up-for-New-Year's organizing orgy. It's one of those things that my grandma told me is traditional in Japan, but which I have a sneaking suspicion is pretty standard the world over. Started with my desk. Pens, markers, notecards, stationary, tape, and computer stuff all dug through, sorted and organized. Started going through the stuff on top of my filing cabinet and entered a time warp.

Found a notebook with notes, cards, letters and emails from my closest friends from school ... Pilgrim Girl, Yardstick Man, Sejin-a, Mr. Personality, Hwanger. Walked down Memory Road with a little more appreciation for these people who were such a huge part of my youth. Remembered all the fun times we'd had, as well as the painful ones. Refreshed my sense of continual discovery. And felt grateful that these wonderful people were there to share those times with me.

Of them all, I only still keep in touch with PG. Although I do confess to google-ing YM every couple of years. It's remarkably easy to do with lawyers. (Aside: Just to see, I tried to do it for myself on the California Nursing Board, but they don't allow searches for specific names, for which I'm actually glad.)

Spent the rest of the day working on a video chronicling the different things I've done this past year, and the good friends with which I've done these things. Travelled to San Francisco, SLC (x3), Yosemite, Havasupai and China. Played lots of Catan. Ate lots of good food. Met many new people. Renewed old friendships. Had to say goodbye to two friends, at least for a year. Tried some new sports. Read ... not as much as I would have liked, but more non-fiction than ever before. Learned a litle family history, and said goodbye to my grandma. Camped in a hotel. Celebrated weddings, births and birthdays.

Life really is good.

Even when I had finished the video, burnt a few dvd's, then found some clips that I thought I'd lost, but which had to be included in the dvd. Even then. Life is still beautiful.

The long hard week

It's been one of those weeks. One of those long, hard weeks that I'm glad to be done with. Of the four patients I took care of this week, two were taken off of life support. One expired shortly after the ETT was taken out ... but this was done on my one day off. The other continues to breathe, and will now have a life circumscribed by tubes, and constant care.

On the bright side, I did learn a lot about a devout Muslim family's regard and love of life. I did also take care of an adorable child whose prognosis is much better, and who charmed the blues right out of me. And, made friends with the social worker who was such a big help this past week. Besides all the professional help with the family, I also got a lot of tips on prepping to buy a house/condo. It's scary but exhilirating. Played Catan two nights in a row. AND, Perky is back from travelling. All in all, life is really good.

Hours and hours of church

Went to all three hours of church today. It's been a while. Anyway, have decided to come off the RS hiatus I've been on. This was a good week to start. The RS president gave a lesson on the life of Joseph Smith. It was a unique lesson in that she did it using a quilt that had been specially designed and made to represent his life.

Also went to the First Presidency Christmas Broadcast. The music was wonderfully warming. Maybe it's simplistic, but I feel the Spirit very strongly through music. The message that stood out the most to me was President Monson's admonition to think more about what we give this Christmas season, as opposed to what we get. Certainly as I've gotten wiser, the ability to give good gifts has been a source of joy. I'm getting excited just thinking about it!


Also, I have been contemplating a life with fewer things around. I look at the lives of ArM and RuM, Ni-chan and Pilgrim girl, and my parents, and realize again that material possessions do not a happy life make.

And as if that weren't enough church for one day, I also went to a fireside. Greg Prince, author of _David O. McKay and the Rise of Modern Mormonism,_ spoke for a brief while, then answered questions from the audience. There were also some people in the audience who had some connection with McKay who also chimed in ... sometimes helpfully, sometimes not. Anyway, it was a fabulous fireside. I think this bio is one of the best books I've read all year. I was very impressed with Prince, and look forward to his future books. As if writing a fascinating book and conducting years of research and interviews weren't enough, he is also a businessman and a dentist. He acquitted himself very well on the podium, speaking intelliently and personably with the audience. I wish I had known about the fireside in advance. None of the Outhouse group were able to come on such short noice. However, I did get four people to come, so I feel not to badly about it.

Exploring the Armand Hammer (the museum, not the baking powder)

(Trying to make ourselves as big as possible)

After a late night phone call, and even later night texting, met up with BFF at the Armand Hammer Museum for a little free exploring. JLITH has been telling me to go for years. Took an early evening stroll in the brisk fall weather up to Westwood. Of note in the special exhibits were some woodblock prints by Hokusai (he makes water come alive) and Little Nemo comic strips by McCay. I also enjoyed some of the portraits in the permanent collection, especially the one of the elderly Russian peasant.

What do I know of art, though? It's such a subjective experience. I have never taken art history or appreciation courses. I just like what I like. For me, it's more the emotional pull and resonance than any specific type of technique.

My artistic likes:
Western portraiture that tells a story: Sargent, Cassatt, Rockwell
(children and comedy), Monet, Bouguereau, David, Rembrandt.
The weird and imaginative collages of David Ball David Ball. Like Monet, these have to be seen in person to get the full effect.
Pared down and thoughtful sketches
Eastern landscapes: most recently Li Huayi
Ancient textiles and statues ... generally from non-Western cultures.
Period costumes
Really sharp black and white narrative photography
Poetry that has a strict rubric and still manages to be beautiful: sonnets (esp: Will's CXVI), tanka (translations by Hirshfield) and haiku

Dislikes:
Asian portraiture
Western landscapes
Religious art that depicts a bloodless/dead Christ.
Minimalist art
Blank verse. Although I do like good prose.

One of my favorite places

It's a bit small, as apartments go ... although, it's rather large for an on-campus place. There are books wall to wall and even in shelves along the hall. Two kitties meander around; one very friendly and loves my purse, the other not so friendly, but immensely cute. Pictures of family and friends everywhere. A large kitchen table for eating, conversing and home-working over. Two comfy easy chairs. A plant that the kitties like to munch on. Two gifted, inquisitive and amicable children with parents to match. A place where conversation is thoughtful, passionate, inspiring, shared, kind, and enlightening. A place, in short, that feels like a second home ... a place of refuge. Where else could it be but the living room of my good friends Pilgrim girl and Ni-chan?

They gave me a copy of Exuberance: The Passion For Life. Turns out that Jamison is a MacArthur fellow. Just as in my conversation with LouAnn on planning travel around UNESCO World Heritage Sites, I think I will tailor my non-fiction reading list around MacArthur fellowship awardees

Not-so-random pitching

Went with Wonder Woman to see the Random Pitches perform over at the Visitor Center. In alphabetical order: JB.com, Little Voice, Mr. Baritone, Precious, Satine and White Boy. They are all so talented, although I must admit that Little Voice has an extra sparkle about her that makes me think she's had more musical theatre experience. It always amazes me how wonderful they sound. Makes me miss singing in church next to Precious ... I always sound better when I sing next to her. Numbers I particularly liked: Groovy, the Jungle Song, Prayer of the Children, I Saw Mommy, and Come Thou Fount.

Afterwards, a few of us we went to Shamshiri for some dinner. Good to catch up with Precious' mother and Co, who had extended their Thanksgiving stay in order to hear the Pitches. It makes me happy to see them so happy. Everyone had so much they wanted to say that I rather held my tongue throughout dinner, my eyes at times glazing over. Sometimes it's just good to allow people the time and space to just talk, and I was happy to oblige.

Quiz time

Friend quizzes are in the air. I love these cheesy quizzes ... can't resist those that come my way. Take mine and let me know how you did!

1 Dora loves to travel! Which city has she spent the least amount of time in?
A Tamarindo, Costa Rica
B Tokyo, Japan
C Munich, Germany
D Siem Reap, Cambodia

2 This one goes out to all the C&K cutthroats. What is Dora's first objective when sitting down to play Catan?
A Getting the paper metropolis
B Playing with the red pieces
C Having the largest army
D Trying to maneuver to use all 4 progress cards in one turn.

3 Which musical instrument has Dora spent the least amount of time playing?
A Flute
B Piano
C Recorder
D Clarinet

4 Lindy-hop is so groovy! Which is Dora's favorite song to lindy to?
A Jersey Bounce by Ella Fitzgerald
B My Baby Just Cares For Me by Nina Simone
C Fever by Peggy Lee or Michael Buble'
D Wade in the Water by Eva Cassidy

5 Which is Dora's favorite place to eat?
A Damon and Pythias
B Pizzicoto
C In-N-Out
D Clementine's

6 There is so much to learn in life! Which is the last class that Dora's taken?
A New Testament at the Institute
B Video editing at West LA College
C Easy Main Courses at Sur La Table
D Extra-Corporeal Membranous Oxygenation (ECMO) Update at work

7 Dora's a traditional kind of girl … sometimes. Which of the below are not one of her yearly traditions?
A Trip to Renaissance Faire
B Lake Arrowhead trip during the summer
C Get out of the country
D New Year's resolution list

8 Service is good. Which was Dora's favorite church calling?
A Activities Chair
B Ward Employment Specialist
C Gospel Doctrine Teacher
D Stake Missionary

9 If Dora were one of the Four Bikers of the Apocalypse (from Good Omens), who would she be?
A Buying gasoline
B Walking behind people walking slowly
C Staying in on a Saturday night
D Washing dishes manually

10 Where is Dora headed to in 2006?
A Turkey
B India
C Argentina
D Kenya

Mata-ne ...

Tonight was my Aunt Yo's last night in LA. It's been such a nostalgic visit. Aunt Yo brought old pictures and documents that she found while going through my grandmother's things. Old family black and white pictures; deeds, blueprints and layouts of houses my grandfather owned; my grandmother's handwritten (in Japanese) personal history; grandmother's calligraphy; etc etc. A lot of it I scanned onto Genie and Bork's computer, some of it I copied. Along with all of this were the reminiscences of my mother and aunt, stories I had never heard about philandering or embezzling great-uncles, love matches gone awry, headstrong and independent great-aunts; and my generous grandfather.

My aunt also brought tidings of my Uncle Yu; my charismatic, handsome and kind uncle. He is the only son of his parents, and the last to bear their name, as he has no children. Years ago, I worried about it, wondering who would carry on his business. It seems that my cousin HY has been helping out, which makes me happy. However, I wish Yu had an heir.

Aunt Yo also told us about her children, and grandchildren, which number three. They seem to be growing so fast. I and my father are the only ones in my family who have not seen them. Makes me contemplate taking a trip to see them this next year. It would also be nice to take a trip to the countryside and pay my respects to my grandparents at the family mausoleum.

Anyway, the memories have been shared, the omiage bought and packed, and family documents copied and stored.

Spork treated us to dinner at Traxx ... restaurant in Union Station. The food was surprisingly tasty and well presented, and the atmosphere was subdued and elegant. This could be one of my favorites. Also, Union Station was quiet and rather empty. We were able to wander down the large hall, take pictures in the retro station seats, and watch as they set up the enormous lighted Christmas tree. What a wonderful way to say good-bye to my aunt, and hello to the holiday season.

Mrs. Darcy, Mrs. Darcy, Mrs. Darcy ...

Just went to see the newest cinematic version of Pride and Prejudice. If I had not internalized so much of the dialogue from multiple readings of the official verson or hours watching the BBC version, I might have thought the current movie beyond compare. As it was, I had difficulty hearing beloved lines mutilated and shrunken to a fraction of their original meaning. However, I didn't not like it. The movie was stirring in its own way because the director focused on the passion between Elizabeth and Darcy.

The story is such a captivating one. For one thing, the heroine and hero are equally matched in intelligence and passion. As they are in all powerful love stories ... Romeo and Juliet, Marc Anthony and Cleopatra, Ed and Chieko Okazaki. If it were not so, there would be no triumph and no reason to tell the story.

The triumph lies in the sequential zeniths and nadirs. Both protagonists imagine themselves to be larger than life. In essence, they start at a zenith. The first nadir occurs when they realize that the one whose esteem they covet does not reciprocate their regard. The shock gives way to a sour grapes state, with a concomitant false zenith. During the course of the narrative, they are brought to a second nadir in recognizing that they do not actually merit the love of the other. It would be truly depressing if the story ended there. However, the triumph lies in discovering that, however undeserving they themselves are, their love is incredibly, passionately and honorably returned.

And that, I think, is the miracle of love. We are all unlovable at some time or another. The wondrous thing is that another person would love us despite our unworthines, and that we each have the power to give and receive of the miracle. I think that this is the hope that propels every person through this mortal existence: that another being will freely and unreservedly love us. To some it may seem so easy to obtain, but difficult to retain. Others may seek for love and adoration through wordly success. Many are deceived by, or deceive by offering, paltry substitutes. Some are so discouraged by failure that they let bitterness steal the sweet possibility of the miracle.

For myself, I prefer to believe that the gift lies just around the bend in the road, and that I am slowly but surely making my way to it. Be it in this life or the one to come; in the form of agape, eros, philia or storge; the miracle is mine.

Going Native

Had dinner with BFF at Native Foods. Vegan restaurant that Pilgrim girl introduced me to. My favorite so far is the portobello mushroom and sausage burger ... so tasty. Although I could never be a vegan, and have no desire to be vegetarian, I greatly appreciate the cuisine.

Good to see BFF and catch up. What with travelling and other plans, it's been weeks, and I've missed our visits. I might have talked a bit. I think his eyes glazed over at one point. However, he was a good sport about it, and just let me ramble on, which was exactly what I wanted.

Had planned on going to the bookclub meeting after dinner. We're reading A Million Little Pieces, one of Cherilyn's recommendations. I wasn't too sure about this book, since the last one she had us read was absolutely awful ... had no qualms about stopping mid-book and throwing it away. However, Frey is rather potent reading, and I think I will finish this one.

Anyway, I didn't end up going. Was exhausted after dinner and went to bed. So much for wild native forays.

Clearing the briars

Once upon a time, a woman lived in a house set apart from the city. In her childhood, she spent much time blazing trails to the many destinations she liked to visit.

One night, a thicket of briars sprang up in the field around her house. Journeys to her favorite places became more difficult, and new trails almost impossible. After a time, she learned to walk over the briars, although she often returned home with bloody feet. She bore the pain, and learned how to work around it. Often times she thought about clearing the thicket, but the task seemed insurmountable as the years passed; the briars grew even more densely, and seemed to better support her footsteps.

One day, the women started to notice that the briars grew so tall in one area that it blocked the sun from warming the house. This was in a direction that the woman had never journeyed, although many had told her of the delights the trail held.

The woman pondered and considered. She called out to various gardeners for help to clear the briars. They heard her pleas. They were not able to enter the briar to help with the physical work, but shouted encouragement and ideas, and flung scythes and boots over the briar to aid her.

The work was painful and difficult, eventhough the woman started in the sparse areas of the briar. Dutifully she hacked away at the unyielding tangle of thorns. Time passed. One day she found she had cleared enough to see the fertile ground that lay at the bottom. She dug her hands into the rich moist earth. It gave her great joy.

And so she continues her work to clear the briars. Some days she is despondent at the amount of work still to be done, and feels cold in the shadow of the tall portion. Some days she is defiant and travels over the briar, then bemoans her foolishness while she binds her feet in the evening. And some days she is remarkably successful and glories in the work done thus far, envisioning the fruits that may eventually come from the land.

The long trip down the mountain

Spork wanted to try snowboarding in Utah. We headed over to Garf's for some accessories, and drove up to Brighton. JLITH, mom and Aunt Yo came along. They wanted to see us come down our first ride. However, we (or rather, I) took so long that they eventually left.

We got on the lift without incident ... Spork suggested that we take a lift seat by ourselves instead of joining with anyone else. His reasoning ... "We don't need anyone hating on us this early in the day." The ride up the Majestic lift was the longest I'd ever been on. It kept going and going. In retrospect, I should have looked at the trail maps and chosen the Explorer list instead. That's what I get for trusting someone else. I turned to Spork and said, "How in the world do you expect me to get to the bottom without killing myself?"

Snow was great, at least by California standards. It was the longest ride down of my life, and probably Spork's as well. Remember that the last time I went snowboarding (which was also my first time), I got a hairline fracture on my left ankle, then rode down once more before calling it quits. Anyway, Spork deserves a medal for sticking with me (at least for most of the way). I still couldn't stand up facing down the mountain and I kept lifting out of my too-big boots. Tried to avoid falling down, since the hardest thing is getting back up. Did alright for my third run. Sat down in utter happiness when I reached the end. Only to be sprayed down with a flash of snow down the neck of my jacket by a hotshot teen!

Sent Spork back up for a couple runs so I could get some video. The last run he got a little lost, and I nearly froze as the sun dipped below the tree line. Bought some hot chocolate and chips to share, but they mysteriously disappeared before Spork made it down the mountain. Warmed our frozen hands under the hot dryer machines ... ahhhhhhh!

On the drive down, we took a picture by one of those "No standing or parking" signs, which we thought were hilarious. Too bad we didn't park the car behind as well. As it was, Spork ended up having to borrow a handy shovel and dig us out because the car got stuck! Nice guy, who was driving the other way, stopped and helped us out. Made up for the rude hotshot earlier.

Asked an avid skiing coworker what the signs were about. Apparently they are placed in areas where skidding or hydroplaning frequently occur. Oops!

Child's Play in the Garden(s)

Genie and I took Big and Little Beans to Red Butte Garden today. Almost didn't make it ... Mapquest gave screwy directions that almost pushed us over the edge of wanting to visit. However, we made it, and had a fantastic time exploring the children's garden. Of note: large lizard statues that the kids rode like broncos, a dragon with a wire-frame body that extends into a maze that the Beans ran and giggled through, and a sundial that's calibrated by month.

Then, we took a drive over to Gilgal Garden to have a few words with the Joseph Smith Sphinx. The Beans loved crawling through the mini-cave formations while the JSS whispered secrets of the ages in my ear. As we were leaving the garden, we let the kids go leaf-ing, something they've never been able to so in LA. Gathered crunchy leaves into large piles and let them have at it. Revels galore.

Finally, went to Trolley Square to see "States of Grace." I liked it. Gritty. Like a puff of sand that makes your eyes water, and when the tears have washed the grit away, your perception of the view is even more beautiful than before. I didn't like that Dutcher made LA look like an ugly place, and the ending was a bit overdone, but I understand that he was trying to make a statement, and I mostly agreed with him. Also, I had to laugh out loud when my cousin (a businessman, NOT an actor) appeared onscreen as the bishop of the ex-gang-banger's ward. My cousin the sneak ... he never said anything about it.

Bork and I drove over to the airport that night to pick up the last of the clan ... brother, mother, father and aunt. I think dad now knows to turn on (and KEEP on) his cellphone whenever arriving. Another amazing dinner by Genie. Good to catch up with everyone. Had planned to go out dancing again, but the family stuff was too good to miss out on.

Going down the list

BFF sent me a list of things to do in SLC.
1. Gilgal Garden
2. Salt lake Cemitary: graves of all the prophets. Most interesting is Joseph Standing's grave which lists those in the mob that killed him and the innocent blood that they spilt.
3. See States of Grace (God's Army II) at the Gateway. A good film, and only in Utah
4. Eat lunch at the Huntsman Cancer Institute. The view is amazing.
5. Wear your blue and root for the cougs. It's holy War week. Refer to Utah fans as "Utards"
6. Best fast food greek in SLC and perhaps the intermountain west: Greek Souvlaki No. 1, (818)322-2062. 404 E 300 S, Salt Lake City, UT 84111-2607
7. The Sam Weller Bookstore on 4th and Main is wonderful. Across from TRAX. Utah's best independant bookstore and one of the better in the US.

Obi-Jahn and I met for lunch at the Point Restaurant at the Huntsman. Food okay. View good. Nice to put a face and mannerisms with the profile. Online Obi-Jahn is almost terse ... rather ascerbic and conservative with his words. In person he is much more approachable and gregarious. We also checked out the Joseph Smith exhibit at the Church Museum. Fascinating to see originals and fascimilies of handwritten pages, and the shards and pieces of early 19th century LDS life. Co-assembled a maple syrup mini-vat. I also especially liked the gallery of portraits of women who were instrumental in the early church.

Had dinner with Nephi and Ishy. Heard a lot of behind-the-scenes Linkup stories. A good reminder to not take it all too seriously. That said, it is good to have an LDS-focused forum where we can discuss the issues we find important, and to meet other saints from around the world.

Back in SLC

After a hectic three days working, I'm off to Utah for another week of vacation! Things look good. Economy car upgraded to a PT cruiser. Weather rather cool but sunny. JLITH's place all ethnic and fantastically redecorated. Nephews remember me and eager to play. Good talks with Genie. Bork immensely satisfied with law school. And West Coast dancing in the evening with some fantastic leads. And a little time to catch up with JLITH before crashing into a dreamless sleep. And this is only day 1 ...

There's no place like home

Finally! After one plane ride from Shanghai to Beijing, an extended layover (9 hours!!!), and a long flight over the Pacific ocean, I'm finally home. The first thing I did after disembarking was visit the closest ladies' room. It was wonderful ... just cleaned: the bleach smell still lingering in the air, and the toilet seats all still up. (Note: freshly cleaned toilets are the only situation in which I'm glad to see the seat cover up). Tanizaki had it all wrong ... in the case of toilets, there is no praise of shadows. The only beautiful color for a toilet is sparkling clean.

After only a short panic attack over getting a ride home, I was comfortably ensconced in Perky's VW, on the way back to my wonderful apartment. Gave the parents the I-made-it-back-safely call, unpacked, did some laundry, and put my life back in order. So wonderful! Now if only I didn't have to go to work in the morning ...

Sometime soon I'll be back-blogging about the rest of the trip. Maybe before leaving for SLC, maybe not. Anyway, stay tuned ...

Beijing: Entering the Forbidden City

From 1422 to 1644, the Forbidden City was the seat of the Chinese Emperors. But I'll let you read the rest of the specifics on your own. It is quite resplendent and imperial. As it is being restored for the 2008 Olympics, I wonder it will lose a lot of its authenticity (like Bangkok) under all the new paint. The grounds are immense. Many in our group were tired from walking through the first courtyard, but that represented less than one-seventh of the entire length of the complex.

Things I especially liked ... the 81 knobs on the large doors that visitors rubbed for good luck and prosperity (the reachable knobs are shiny and untarnished), the jade carving that the imperial children practiced archery through, the bronze vats where fire-fighting water was stored, the crystal in the Rare Courtyard, and the lion deity pairs (the male with his right paw on a pearl representing earth/power, and the female with her left paw on a lion cub representing the future generation).

After passing through the main area, we also visited the Imperial Gardens, which were quite lovely after all the hard architecture of the buildings.

Bursting onto Beijing: Tiananmen Square

Arrived in Beijing early this morning, and hit the ground running. Our guide's American name was Michael (as in Jordan, not Jackson he told us). Nice guy, but he spoke with a slightly disturbing lisp that made him seem a little effeminate/childish. When we boarded the bus, there was plenty of room to spare. I probably would have taken a seat near the front, but Pilgrimgirl's prosthetic/bionic leg had frozen on the plane (YIKES!), so she took the last row of seats so she could rest her leg in a comfortable position, and her mother and I joined her. As it was, we each had four seats each to relax and lay our things down on, so it was quite comfy.

Passed by the first train station in Beijing, which was constructed 150 years ago during the opium wars.

Our first stop was Tiananmen Square. One of the reasons I didn't blog on the trip was that we were told that there have been times when blogs and/or emails which were not favorable to China were intercepted, and never made it to their destinations. None of us wanted trouble, so we were careful about what we did and wrote.

So, TS was initally the site of numerous government offices, as it faces the south entrance to the Forbidden City. However, Mao Tse Tung had the offices torn down and had the enormous square constructed in its place. In the square now are Tiananmen Tower, Monument to the People's Heroes, Great Hall of the People, and Mao Zedong Memorial Hall. The Memorial Hall used to be the Mausoleum, but the body was moved in 1985 to an unspecified location.

Seems hard to believe that the massacre was so long ago ... 6/4/1989. Even today. the military presence is palpable. All the lights are equipped with surveillance equipment. Soldiers patrol, and seem to randomly bark at people who seem to gathering in any one place.

Toward the end of our time there, the soldiers started herding everyone out of the square. We heard rumors that it was due to visiting Yugoslavian dignitaries. As I turned around to get one last photo, the deserted square gave me the chills. Ironically, Michael told us that Tiananmen means heavenly peace.

Last minute (not-so-necessary) details before going to China

Making a new mixed cd ... Strum Kind of Wonderful. Songs which have a heavy guitar voice. Been on my mind for a while now. Anyway, as I started to build it, I noticed that it was really male-vocals-heavy. Most of the female vocalists were of the slow/country persuasion. Consulted Perky for ideas on female rockers with a not-so-gentle sound. She recommended Elastica, Janis Joplin, Joni Mitchell, No Doubt, Lucinda Williams, Shelby Lynne Veruca Salt and Joan Jett. This begs the question ... are female rockers not as talented at the hard stuff as men, or have they avoided it because it's commercially undesirable? Anyway, so far, the list is Take Me Out (Franz Ferdinand), Connection (Elastica), Life is Bad (Shelby Lynne), Someday You Will Be Loved (Death Cab For Cutie), Sweet Emotion (Aerosmith), Shiver (Maroon 5), Lebanese Blonde (Thievery Corporation), By the Way (Red Hot Chili Peppers), Seether (Veruca Salt), Only Happy When it Rains (Gargabe), Back in Black (AC/DC), E-Pro (Beck), Little Bird (White Stripes), Sugar Never Tasted So Good (ibid), I Can't Wait (ibid), God Put a Smile Upon Your Face (Coldplay), Fugitive (Indigo Girls), Down on Me (Janis Joplin), Blackbird (Sarah McLachlan), Stairway to Heaven (Led Zeppelin).

Also saw the documentary New York Doll. Sweet. Not in that heavily sugared way, but like Wonder Woman's excellent butterscotch pudding ... simple, smooth, carefully crafted, and you taste a variety of flavors as you hold it in your mouth. Whitely did a magnificent job. A little queer to see President Bragg, Rust and Greg on the big screen, and hear an especially touching version of "A Poor Wayfaring Man of Grief."

Went and had Shears give me a haircut. Made me feel a little guilty for not being faithful to JoLa, but I needed a change. Arrived a little early, and saw Shears giving the tail end of a lecture to the students (she TEACHES hairstyling/cutting!). Revealling to see her in a professional, as opposed to friendly/social, setting. Took a bunch of pictures on my laptop in for her to look at, saying that I wanted something shorter, more individual (not feeling the need to hide behind my hair these days), and easy to care for. Shears did a fantastic job (thus her new nickname). Layered in the back to the base of my neck, slightly longer to collarbone in front, chopped wispies in front to make bangs. I love it!

Finished packing, and Wonder Woman drove me to LAX. Among other things we talked about NY Doll. The part where the ex-wife reads Moroni 7:26 really got me. Prayers being granted. Maybe I don't have enough faith that God *will* bless me in certain matters, although I believe that He *can.* Also, the incongruity between deserving versus receiving blessings. Or is it that I engage in self-defeating behaviors that make certain blessings less receivable? Not that my life is unblessed. I am incredibly blessed, and I try to remain grateful. Anyway, it was a sobering discussion, the kind I love to have with WW.

WW dropped me off at Bradley Terminal. When I discovered that China Air was actually in terminal 2, I hoofed it over ... and got into the longest line I've ever seen at LAX. Turns out there had been a piece of unattended luggage, and they had cleared a certain section of the terminal! Waited a long time, but eventually got checked in and onto the plane. Non-aisle seat in the middle, but at least the seats are a little wider than on the ends ... or so it seemed. And we were off. China, here I come!

From video games to therapeutic sessions.

Wednesday was Precious' birthday. Superman said that he planned her birthday at Dave and Buster's because she was so freaked out about becoming another year older. Frankly, that's a bunch of ... cow patties! I think someone was having Halo withdrawals, and I can't even begin to guess which of the two was suffering the most! After a yummy dinner (during which Gadget Boy devoured bar hamburgers), we marched into the mega-arcade and set about to do some damage. Star Wars, Star Trek (my aim with a toy gun is awful!), Jurassic Park, Indie 500, Pearl Harbor, and Dance Dance Revolution. Confess that I love DDR, but this was a harder version, with stomp pads in the four corners instead of front, back, left and right, besides the middle pad. GB and I team played: him in front and me playing the back ... absolutely hilarious. And Superman and I battled. He won. I kept stepping on icons that put my step signs into warp speed. Next time I will be prepared to conquer!

Got back home at 0030. Should have gone to bed, but I stayed up to create a Halloween costume (that I absolutely plaigarized from B and T). Had put the finishing touches on it when I decided that I needed to download stuff from the camera to make room for the weekend activities. I really should have gone to bed. But I didn't. While downloading, I came across the picture of Gadget Boy, and felt compelled to show it to Perky. At this point I really should have gone to bed. But I didn't. Instead, we got into a very indepth conversation, the kind I love to have with her during unconventionally late or early hours of the day. I really should have gone to bed when Wonder Woman got home. But I didn't. WW joined in, and the conversation became even more intense, and I was too far in to extricate myself willingly. Finally, around 0300, Perky broke the spell and sent us all to bed. Enough time to get three hours of sleep before heading in to work. Woo-hoo!

Love to lindy.

Headed over to Lindy Groove after work. The lindy-cravings were too intense to miss out on the Halloween party. The most clever costumes were B and T as cat burglars, the Hurricane Katrina reporter, the turkey, the ghoulish hobo, and the SwingPit undead. Caught up with some old friends. Several really good dances. Best was StretchJer. Lindy cravings now mollified. Looking forward to west coast dancing in SLC next month!!!

Dora in Charge

I was the charge nurse today. The head honcha. The (sometimes) fearless leader. What does it mean to do charge? Well, it means I take responsibility for the PICU … coordinating/overseeing admissions and discharges, making assignments, ensuring that the nurses get out on breaks, rounding with the doctors, wearing the code beeper and responding if it goes off, making sure the pyxxis accounting sheets are printed and passed out at the end of the shift, receiving and giving shift-change report on all patients, and being a resource for the nurses on the unit. I do it maybe once every six to seven weeks. It's always a good learning experience because there's more time to question the docs on the plans of treatment for the various patients. On a slow day it can be rather boring. On a hectic day (like those crazy nights I was on with EY), it can be immensely draining.

Today was an okay day. Two fresh post-op admissions, two unforeseen admissions, one discharge, one pt went to CT, and one to MRI. Had to pair two patients to take the first admit, then use my team leader to take the second. One of our transfers got kicked back, and the other one was a solid no-go. By the time I got around to doing staffing, there was just enough room to take one admit, and that still left night shift rather short. In the end, JW volunteered to stay over-time, and which was a huge relief, and it all worked out. Someday I want to be able to do charge as easily and effortlessly as CY … she makes it look so easy, and she’s always calm, even when the unit is exploding around her. I guess that’s one of the reasons she’s a Clin IV. That, and she knows just about everything.

Went home and was still too hyped up to relax. Watched Sunday’s tivo’d episode of “Grey’s Anatomy.” I’m not sure if Perky was more amused or annoyed at my running commentary on how the writers need better medical consultants. Sometimes they’re just laughable.

Reverence begets revelation, & the end of a good weekend.

How often do I miss the deeper joys of life because I'm too busy being distracted by inconsequential entertainers? One of the more personally thought-provoking messages of this stake conference stated, "Reverence begets revelation." I remember a conversation with Venetian about how difficult it is to find silence in the modern world. Everywhere we are surrounded by background noise ... the rush of cars, the hum of electronics, the ringing of alarms and phones; to say nothing of impersonal voices talking and squawking at us from televisions, radios and through the walls of my apartment. Random noise can be so maddening.

There is something intensely spiritual about being able to be quiet and still. Standing in an open field and tuning into the chirp of a bird. Experiencing the play of wind in a bamboo forest. Feeling my heartbeat as I lay on my mat after a session of yoga. The incredible softness of holding a sleeping infant. That tense moment between the end of a concerto and the start of thundering applause. The comfort of an enveloping embrace.

All these thoughts rolled over me as the stake choir sang an arrangement of "Joseph Smith's First Prayer" by Crawford Gates. I must explain that I have long been rather adverse to this hymn. It comes from months of being the accompanist at early Saturday morning baptisms while my father was Stake Mission Leader. At age twelve, there were many other things that I would rather have been doing, and the hymn has since reeked of obligation. However, as the choir sang the hymn in the beautiful chapel of the Los Angeles Stake Center, I was surprised at the beauty of the music. I felt that tremulous moment when a singular melody expands into a cascade of harmonic voices, and felt THE CHILL run up my arms. It became an auditory, emotional and spiritual experience ... a feast for the senses and sensibilities. It also brought to mind some of my favorite hymns ... Be Still My Soul; Abide With Me (#166); For the beauty of the Earth; All Creatures of Our God and King; O Savior Thou Who Wearest; A Mighty Fortress; There is a Green Hill; High on a Mountain Top; and many others.

Aldous Huxley said it so succinctly, "After silence that which comes nearest to expressing the inexpressible is music."

On a more informational note, Presidents Fairclough, Turley and Millard have been released. The new Stake Presidency consists of Presidents Bragg, White and Vargas.

After conference, I napped and thought deep thoughts of all I'd encountered this weekend. BFF stopped over for a bit and we chatted a bit about the conferences as he examined my books.

Wonder Woman cooked an amazing dinner as well! Perky, Precious, Superman, Ballerina, The Dot, Improv-er and BiggieD were all on hand to partake of the delicious victuals. Balsamic tomato soup with homemade foccacia, fennel and red onion salad, chile lime sweet potatoes, beet salad and pork-loin with quince marmelade. AND butterscotch pudding to top it off with! No one beats WW's cooking!

Excused myself for a bit to dash over to Vivacious' to catch up for a bit. I always love to talk with her. I almost nicknamed her Favorite Visiting Teacher Ever, but decided that Vivacious suits her much better. I've known her for longer than most of my friends in LA, and she's one of the few people who I can talk to for long periods of time without having to cast about for topics.

Made my way back to the apartment for the last game of Catan. Did not-too-badly ... the cloth monopoly. However, wouldn't you know it that Improv-er won. It happens all too frequently, and we haven't been playing frequently at all!

Ended the night with some quiet time before bed. Just me and my thoughts. A little bit of silence to add fullness to the dish.

Meatiness Part II

Up BEFORE the crack of dawn this morning. Picked up Pilgrimgirl and we drove down to San Clemente for the Joseph Smith Symposium. Presenters included Robert Millet (BYU ~ Joseph Smith), Jeff O'Driscoll (~ Hyrum and Joseph Smith), Joseph L. Bentley (OC Director of Public Affairs ~ Trials of the Prophet) and Richard L. Bushman (Columbia University ~ Joseph Smith).

Especially liked Bushman's remarks. His presentation was scholarly and well-documented, without losing that human element. He discoursed on how studying the life of the prophet Joseph Smith can help us be more Christlike.

After the symposium, I snapped a couple photos of the panelists, and PG got her book signed by Bushman. Photos may appear in church news with PG's write-up.

P3C's.

Today was a cookie baking day. My favorite ... P3C's, or pumpkin chocolate chip cookies. Mom actually called me back early this morning to give me the recipe. Thank heavens! Because the ones I've made from on-line recipes never measure up. There were several motivations for baking today. First, I love these cookies, and so do some very good friends (FGITW and BFF most notably). Second, Safehouse is coming up, and I need something to bring. And third, refreshments (and a bribe for copies of future notes) for Outhouse.

So, I was in a cookie making flurry. First batch got burned on the bottom because I used a dark pan. I ate the tops off a few to ensure that the recipe was as good as I'd remembered. It was. Traded emails with BFF and teased him with the aroma of fresh baked cookies. The joke was on me ... he showed up at my doorstep right after lunch, on his way to a meeting in Culver City. Downed a few cookies fresh from the oven, chatted a bit, and then out the door. Seems like it's always like that; snatches of time between other engagements. I can't complain, because I do the same. He teased me about chocolate on my nose. I didn't believe him, until I took a look in the mirror after he'd left. Indeed, he'd told the truth. Must have been when I ate those cookie tops!

Anyway, after 8 trays of cookies, I was done. Enough cookies for several full plates ... one for friends and roommates, one for Outhouse, and one for Safehouse. That's my theory about cooking: minimum effort for maximum effect!

With a little help from my friends ... and mom.

Been feeling sick for long enough now. Asked for some help from an old good friend, who included a new good friend, which made me happy. The end of it was that I felt loved and understood and relieved.

Also went home to visit with my mother. We talked and talked. Financial planning, family goings-on, travel plans, friend goings-on, gathering the clan for pre-Thanksgiving festivities, work, etc etc. Experimented with Thai food. Again I'm presented with the idea that I'm too picky. Is there such a thing in a world where divorce is nearly as prevalent as marriage?

School portraits

After an initial inquiry, someone sent me this link to Jamm Factory. I was fascinated. Especially by Alfie. Some of the photos were so exuberant that the children seemed to jump off the page. Others seemed less inspired. Most of the boys posed singularly, while most of the girls opted to pose with friends. I felt sad that most of the girls didn't seem to convey anything about themselves other than that they had a friend to pose with. Perhaps the one that most drew my attention was the one girl who posed alone, walking down a flight of outdoor stairs.

What would I have been photographed doing, if I were to try to represent myself in a snapshot during elementary school? In Kindergarden I would have been playing cowboys and Indians with Blonde Cowboy. For first grade, I would have posed playing the piano. In third grade, Moira and I would have been roller skating at Skate Plus. Forth grade playing the recorder. Fifth swinging on the rings on the playground. Sixth grade surrounded by piles and piles of books.

As it was, I generally forgot about picture day until I arrived at school that morning. Probably wearing a t-shirt with a glittery decal on it and those courderoy pants I couldn't stand, but which never wore out.

Mental snapshots of elementary school: running around with Blonde Cowboy, my one asian friend MiC in a sea of whiteness, sleepovers at Moira's, summer reading programs at the library, getting busted for doing handstands by Mrs. Gallindo, flutaphone and recorder lessons with Mr. Federgreen, wonderful Mrs. Knechtli, calligraphy, AW, my caramel popcorn business in 6th grade, advanced math with Mr. England, and the Group of 10 (me, Nice Nisha, Brat, Brat II, Meg, Fro-boy, Guitar Dave, Outcast, KP, and Unknown (because I can't for the life of me remember who he was).

eBay conquerer!

I was defeated in my first contest, but have emerged triumphant from the second! Watch to be here in 6-10 business days ... well before we depart for China. Talked over preps with Pilgrim Girl the other night ... beginning to be very exciting!

Adventures on eBay

So, I've done it. Made my very first bid. Pilgrim Girl would be proud.

The thing is, I want my old watch back. It was as near to a perfect watch as I have ever found. Lights up when I press a button, handy when I'm working nights. Always tells me day, date and military time. I can set the secondary function to anywhere around the world ... very handy on trips. An alarm to wake me. A timer to remind me. A steel wristband that never gets dirty. The perfect watch. The one that's languishing in azure blue waters, at the base of Mooney Falls, in Havasupai. The one that was ripped from my wrist as I attempted to scale an interminable red rock wall ... well, maybe it was only ten feet, although it felt like twelve!

Anyway, when I got around to ordering a new one, I found that it was not available through any of the authorized Baby G online stores, much to my dismay. At first I couldn't believe it. Kept looking around for that cookie that would allow me to step through the magical door and place an order. Never found it. Been blue ever since.

Then, it finally connected ... with stories about miraculous finds on eBay. Embarked on the internet this morning, and found several! Absolute Nirvana! There is light at the end of the dark, timeless tunnel!

And so, I registered on eBay, and have placed my maximum bid, which was ... well, maybe I shouldn't tell. Who knows what other competitive bidder may be lurking about trying to sabotoge my quest to regain the perfect timepiece. Five more hours ... the clock is ticking.