New Views

Went up to the valley today for a very special birthday party. Pirategirl ... the one year old daughter of my friend Wendy-bird. A while back, my friend Wendy-bird told me that she was ordering specimen from a sperm bank in order to have a baby. I was completely flabergasted, and secretly thought she was a little nuts. Yes, she was a home owner. Yes, she was a hustler, working many contractual or free-lance jobs in her field, always able to support herself. Yes, she was wise with money. But she was also completely single, had no family living in the area, and I didn't think she'd had much experience with children.

Fast forward two years, during which we were just javascript:void(0)really busy with our own lives, and hadn't communicated much beyond the random email.

It was Pirategirl's first birthday, and I was invited. It was with a little hesitation that I entered the house. Beyond my habitual shyness, knowing that I wouldn't know anyone else there, I was a little apprehensive of what had happened to Wendy-bird and Pirategirl in the interim. I'm happy to say that most of my fears were unfounded. Wendy-bird and Pirategirl are both happy and healty. Wendy-bird has the fulfilled and satisfied look of a woman who had found a safe place to deposit her wealth of love, kindness and creativity. Pirategirl is a lovely toddler who is curious about the world around her, and revels in the love she finds at home. It made me happy to see them doing so well. I'm sure it won't be all smooth trails in the life ahead, but I think their lives will have an abundance of joy.

I was reminded of an episode of This American Life, 183: The Missing Parents Bureau, which focused on absent parents. In Case 1: Better Left to the Imagination, the focus is on single women who use sperm bank specimens to get pregnant. Generally, these are professional women, who don't have or anticipate a mate in their lives, but are ready to be mothers. It's always been hard for me to understand why women would do this. Parenthood seems hard enough when there are two parents, without throwing single (and single income) parenthood into the mix. If there's an accident, divorce, death or desertion, of course it's necessary to be a single parent. But I just couldn't understand why anyone would go to such lengths to be a single parent.

Or maybe it's that I'd never experienced baby hunger? I'm not an aggressive baby fanatic ... I don't like to hold unconsolable children, and I don't go out of my way to be with children who don't want to be with me. But I like children. I work with them professionally. I like babysitting my nephews, and playing with my friends' children. And I always thought that I'd have a couple of my own someday.

Nowadays, the concept of bearing children seems very far away. As I explained to my gyn, I'm not involved with anyone I want to have children with. And while it occassionally makes me feel sad, it's not something that I find fruitful to dwell on.

But every once in a while, I do long to be a mother. It's not very often. But there are times when I think that it would be deeply satisfying to raise a child, to have someone to lavish love upon, to nurture and teach and tend. Most times I fulfill these desires by trying to be good to those around me, at home and work, and it's generally enough. But sometimes it's not. And it's at those times that I wonder about someday becoming a foster or adoptive mother to a child in need. It's a new idea to c onsider. And so I wonder and I ponder.

In keeping with new views, and because it was the last day to use my flexible spending account money, I took myself over to Lens Crafter and used up the last of the money on eyewear. Granted, it was about $1300 of eyewear. Exam. Two pairs of totally souped up glasses. But since it was the last day of the 1/2-off-lenses sale, I still had a lot of money left over. So, I splurged. I got colored contacts. I know it's silly, and vain and pretty ridiculous, but even worse would be not using the money at all. I'll probably use them mostly to wear for nights out dancing. Plus, I've always wanted to get them, but could never justify the expense. I was still pretty conservative ... instead of the green eyes I've always dreamed about, the contact make my eyes a light shade of brown. So, next time you see a woman who looks like me, but with light brown eyes, you might just want to compliment said woman on how interesting her eyes look ... and leave it at that.

More fun at the festival

Lazy day. Not much to do, so I walked up to Westwood to see if I could get tickets to some shows.

After inquiring at the festival office, I ate a scrumptious lunch over at Damon and Pythias ... portobello mushroom and fresh mozzarella sandwich, and their fabulous onion rings. Really, they have the best onion rings I've ever tasted. With the garlic dipping sauce, it's absolutely divine.

Walked over to the Mann Festival, and got into the standby line for 2 Days in Paris, written by Julie Delpy, and starring Delpy and
Adam Goldberg, who I will always remember as the quirky friend in Relativity, which was one of those really good shows that got cancelled.

As I sat down on the ground to wait the hour and a half before the show, I met a professional mime. Of course, I had no idea he was a professional non-speaker. He was just the guy who asked the whole line to move down so he could also sit down unbothered by the prickly vines that spilled down over the short wall we were all leaning against. And really, I had two books to keep me entertained, but after a couple minutes of chitchatting, I decided that Clowning Around was much more entertaining. Turns out that he decided to be a mime while in high school. Went to mime school in Paris. Travelled with Cirque du Soleil as a clown. Lived in Australia for six years as a comedian. And has been living in LA for a few years trying to make it as a screen writer. (For a non-speaker, he was incredibly verbose). Anyway, after talking about how he and his writing partner had been signed by a big agency, and they had a film coming out this year, the actor sitting next to Clowning Around became very interested in our conversation! It was almost comic ... Clowning Around finally having an industry-related fan who was rather impressed, and Actor Dude almost flirting with him in an attempt to make a famous connection. I guess CA must have liked us, since he gave both of us his card.

Well, we all made it into the showing (after seeing Goldberg getting photographed outside), and ended up sitting together. I could tell that Actor Dude wanted to sit next to Clowning Around. I don't blame him ... if I were a struggling actor, I'd try to work every single angle possible. But it was not to be. I ended up being in the middle. Sometimes fate just works that way.

The film was funny. Delpy had some really good dialogue, and I liked the way she had the movie shot. She and Goldberg were hilarious together. My favorite scene was in the apartment, when they're getting hot and heavy. (paraphrasing)

G: Baby, I'm so hot for you. You know why I'm so hot for you?
D: Yes! It's because we have opposite immune systems!
G: Uhh?
D: We have opposite immune systems. The forces of procreation are driving us together so that our children will have strong immune systems. That's why we're so attracted to each other.
G: This is like dating PBS!
...
G: Whatever. Baby, let's procreate.
D: Yes yes! But, before you procreate with me, could you please put on a condom?

Anyway, the movie was hilarious. I don't even remember the ending, but I know that I liked the film. I left as soon as the movie was over, to meet my mother for the next film directly after. Luckily, I was able to buy tickets earlier in the afternoon, and she was free to come down and see it with me.

The next movie was Does Your Soul Have a Cold, a documentary about depression (utsu) in Japan, how it's been perceived, how medications were marketed there, and how perceptions have or haven't changed. Mental illness has such a stigma attached to it in Japan, that I was curious to see what the movie had to see. Interestingly, information was passed by a huge ad and internet campaign by Glaxo Smith Kline. And some of the interviewees in the documentary reported a big improvement after starting drugs. Sadly, the improvements don't seem to have lasted. Some of the people feel the drugs no longer help, but are afraid to stop taking them because they dear falling even more deeply into depression. My feeling is that depression is a multi-factorial issue, and that some sort of therapy or behaviour modification would have helped. However, of the few interviewees who had started therapy, none had persisted beyond a couple sessions. I wonder if this was more due to a lack of hope that it would work, or an east asian prejudice that therapy is totally ineffectual.

Postlude: Being a little skeptical of Clowning Around's verbosity, I later looked him up on imdb.com. Of course, it doesn't tell me about mime school in Paris, but it looks as if his bragging about his work in Los Angeles is legitimate. Makes me wonder how long Actor Dude waited to call Clowning Around after today ...

Phase III

E has completed Phase II on nights, and came back to days to complete Phase III on days before coming on shift. I really like precepting during Phase III ... it's when all the hard work of teaching becomes most apparent. Now that E's mastered all the basics of routine care, we can talk more about physiology, disease process, treatment and management. Today we had a trauma kid with an ICP. Good review of increased intracranial pressure, Monroe-Kellie doctrine, ventriculostomy monitoring and drainage, treatment modalities, how to recognize signs and symptoms of Cushing's Triad, and what to do for impending herniation.

Didn't go to Lindy Groove tonight. Right ankle's feeling a little tender and bruised after I hit it against a dumbell. However, wore a brace today and my new, expensive, ugly shoes, and didn't have any trouble at work.

Running around town

Errands, errands, errands.

Costco for food and stuff (or was it Monday? I can't remember now).

Ophthalmology appointment. Dilated eyes. I'd have been a hit in the 70's. Left the eye doctor's office, and the world outside exploded into painful light until I got my sunglasses on. Thankfully I had my prescription sunglasses, so that I didn't look like a complete geek with the place-this-behind-your-glasses darkened film-sheet.

Over to the gyn office for my yearly check-up. Left sore. Enough said. Was pleased that I'd scheduled the appointment months ago that was so convenient to the theatre were I was supposed to see Resolved, feeling that payinh $8 for parking at UCLA wasn't such a waste this time.

Walked a couple blocks to the theatre to see Resolved. Horribly frustrated to find that the Landmark theatre is NOT the same as the Landmark Regent theatre. Doubly frustrated that the shuttle only came every 30 minutes, which would make me horribly late for the 1700 showing. Trebly frustrated by the slow crawl of traffic down Westwood Boulevard to the Landmark theatre. Parked a block away so that I didn't wast time looking for nonexistant parking in the structure. Quadruply (?) frustrated at the blister I could feel forming on the ball of my left foot. Finally made it up to the top floor and semi-plead with the ushers to let me in to the theatre, to which they semi-joked that they'd held the showing for me in particular.

Walked into the theatre and was enshrouded by the darkness. When I got to the end of the corridor, I could see the screen, but thought that every seat was filled. After half a minute. I felt a hand on my arm. "Hey, thanks for coming out!"

Feeling very embarrassed, I replied, "Oh sure. I'm excited to see the film. But I can't actually see who you are."

Low laughter. "It's Greg." (the director of the film, who I knew a lifetime ago from being in the same ward and from swing dancing lessons before I really got serious. I happily congratulated him, then settled up against the wall, since I couldn't see any open seats.

Another person touched my arm and invited me to have a seat (read: You can't stand her during the show). I confessed that I'd had my eyes dilated and couldn't see any open seats, at which point the guy looked around and found me one that was easily accessible, and I settled in.

Resolved is about high school competitive debating. I'd come in expecting something like Presidential debates, or what I'd seen eons ago in JSA, which I was involved in during junior and high school primarily because of the great conferences and parties, and secondly because of an effort to be more civicly minded. Turns out the style of debate used in JSA is called Lincoln-Douglas debate, which is leagues away from policy debating.

Basically, I was riveted. From the 400 word a minute spewing from the mouths of the young participants, painful sounding mini-breaths, tubs full of information, complex personalities, streams of information, and fabulous editing, my eyes were glued to the screen. The blurb on the festival website:

The fascinating complexity of high school debate gives way to a portrait of the equally complex racial and class bias of American education in Greg Whiteley's riveting documentary.

Initially a portrait of top-flight debaters from well-funded, mostly white schools—like nationally ranked Sam Iola and Matt Andrews of Highland Park, Texas—the film deepens when it changes focus to Richard Funches and Louis Blackwell from Long Beach's Jordan squad. While gifted traditional debaters in their own right, the two decide to challenge the usefulness of the jargon-filled, 400-word-per-minute style of modern debate (known as “the spread”) by steering their debates toward issues of personal experience and dialogue. What is the use of refining an argument, they stress, when it does not affect the reality of a person's locale and particular life? Why must individual perspective and bias be masked? For many, these questions present such a radical interpretive shift that competitors and judges crumble in front of them.

Contrasting Fuches and Blackwell's attempt to challenge the system with Andrews' relentless pursuit to excel in it and win the prestigious Tournament of Champions, Whiteley deftly explores the disparities between the debaters, their styles, and their resources. Alternately inspiring and polarizing, Resolved reveals a constantly shifting sport that is as much philosophy as competition.

The movie was spectacular. More professional than New York Doll. More streamlined and visually and plot pleasing than Spellbound. I have no doubt that this will get picked up and distributed across the country. I'd see it again in a theatre. I'd even buy the dvd. It really was THAT good.

Made it home and started raving about it to both of my roomates. Ironically enough, turns out that Wonder Woman was the state champion in policy style debate, and Girl Friday had competed in Lincoln-Douglas style debate in high school as well. Then I got on the internet to look up the rest of the festival movies. Maybe I'll be able to fit one more in.

And lastly, there was another episode of SYTYCD!!!! Everyweek Wade Robson amazes and delights. Amazingly innovative choreographer. Fabulous dancer. Tall. Hot. And appears to be straight. What more could a tv viewer ask for?

Loved the pieces that Jamie & Hok (jazz) and Sabra & Dominic (rumba) performed. And I even liked Lacey & Kameron's Quickstep. I generally don't like the QS, but Meredith kept it fun and snazzy by adding elements from Charleston and Shag. Hurray for dancing!

Copacabana

No, not that Copacabana. This one. (You can catch the plot synopsis at the LA Film Festival website. Party Girl offered to get us comped tickets to see this documentary by her friend Martin Rejtman. So, after work I jetted home to meet up with WW and head off.

Parking in Westwood was almost painful, until we realized that the structue on Broxton was still open. Tried to get our tickets at Willcall and the theatre boxoffice, but were denied until Party Girl showed up and had a face to face with the boxoffice girl. Thank heavens! While there, I also got a ticket for Greg Whitely's (of New York Doll fame) newest documentary, Resolved

Copacabana was difficult to follow. Unfortunately, the subtitled version wasn't working, so they showed the unsubtitled version. Fortunately, unlike most documentaries, there was very little in the way of explanation or analysis, so it didn't make a big difference in the way we viewed the documantary. The Copacabana is actually a Bolivian celebration of dance that takes place in Argentina. The clips from the actual festival were jumlbed with wild costumes and fringe and shiny gold costumes. What I liked most was the footage from the practice sessions. You could jsut tell how dedicated the dancers were, and how much joy the dancing brought the,. without being distracted by the flash ... although I did love the women dressed in their tall bowler hats, really full skirts and fringed shawls.

Interesting to hear a bit from Rejtman afterward. Apparently he was commissioned by a television station to make a documentary about one of among a selected group of Argentinian topics. He chose the Copacabana because it was the events about which he knew the least. He also specified that he was showing it from an outsider's perspective, not someone who was integrated in the Bolivian-Argentinian community.

I think Film Fan has done a wonderful job with the Los Angeles Film Festival this year. Most of it is centered in Westwood Village, with the majority of the theatres within walkign distances. They've completely taken over Broxton Boulevard, with areas for family activities, larger than life Transformer models. and brights lights everywhere.

NCTS in LA

To mirror the YSA summer dance series, I was asked to teach a night of dancing for the mid-singles. Originally the idea was for a swing or salsa class. However, I had a much better idea. It's so hard to get first time, older dancers (younger meaning teenager and 20-somethings) to look good doing beginning east coast swing. Generally they end up looking a bit ridiculous and dated. And it's not much better for salsa, for which one needs to have that certain latin hop action to make it look good. It's much easier (and useful) for people to learn nightclub two step, which is symmetrical, has easier footwork, and can be danced to much of the contemporary or popular music that people listen to everyday. Plus, change the direction from side to side, to forward and back, add some hippy action, and it's basically the salsa!

So, I asked White Boy if he would be interested in learning NCTS from me, and helping me teach at the mid-singles FHE. Happily, he jumped at the chance. Yes, I could have asked someone from the swing scene, but I felt awkward about it. Most everyone is either married or involved, or live far away, or I'm just not close enough to to feel comfortable with to ask. And White Boy is a good friend, I've already taught him the basics of lindy, he's been taking classes on his own and with his girlfriend, and we can incorporate K into the later lead-up lessons to see how a beginner would understand what I'm teaching.

Tonight I met with White Boy for our first rehearsal. Reviewed frame. Taught the basic. Underarm outside turn. Miranda Roll. Travelling step with all the variations we could think of, and the blues mini-dip. Gave him some personal notes on things to help improve his dancing in general, and notes for NCTS in particular.

I asked WB about the YSA summer series, since he and K have been attending. Unfortunately, it seems that the teachers have fallen in to the major problems of beginning teachers. First, they don't have a set rotation pattern that takes into account the inherent imbalances of leaders to followers. When inexperienced teachers have everyone moshed together, and people randomly switch partners, the shy or non-Barbie/Kens often don't get partners. The best teachers structure their (not too large) classes in a circle, with partnerless danccers spaced evenly throughout the circle. After a couple minutes with each partner, the smaller circle rotates one space. In this way, no one's left without a partner for too long, and everyone gets to dance. Plus, it's just good social dancing practice to dance with a wide range of partners.

The second pitfall is to focus on tons of lifts or dips, instead of good lead and follow techniques. At most camps, they don't even teach aerials and serious dips until the advanced level, and even then, most people have to sign up in couples to make sure that people are comfortable doing potentially dangerous lifts and aerials, and that there are enough spotters. Especially in east cost swing, novice teachers show lifts, aerials and dips because they don't know good L&F technique, and partly because they either don't know their audience, or the class are people who don't really dance (in which case it's even more important to learn L&F).

After all the NCTS, WB wanted to review a little of lindyhop. Taught him sugar-pushes again. He does them a little more circularly than a regular slot would accomodate, but it's not that important at this stage. Also went over inside turns at the start of the whip, combining this with turns at the end of the whip. And showed a really crude reverse whip with a follower's free spin. Fun!

So, WB and I are meeting every Monday until the night of 7/30, which is when the dancing FHE is scheduled. I'm hoping that B will be advanced enough, and K will be recovered enough, that we can start teaching K on the 26th, but we'll see.

Lake Arrowhead 2007 Day 3

Again, I was up early. As tired as my body was, I was just too excited to sleep. Finished my book with tears rolling down my cheeks, and set it aside for Shimai J. I think she would love this book, given her experiences performing humanitarian work in Africa.

Improv-er was up next. Had to leave to be at his ward today. I felt bad, since he'd had so little time with us, and he didn't even want any breakfast. Iasked him if he wanted to take any snacks along. He looked down at his shorts, where my eyes followed, and said, "Of, don't worry about me. I've got a banana in my pocket." At which point his eyes shot up, and he gave a comedic horrified grimace, and at which I burst out laughing. Trust Improv-er to make every moment a funny one.

Cut some watermelon for breakfast, chatted with people as the house slowly came to life, and rearranged the Catan board for any last games to be played. Indeed, we were about to start a game ... had even placed our settlements ... when Music Man wandered down, and I had to excuse myself.

For my birthday, MM had brought up his massage table, and was going to treat me to an hour massage! What a wonderful birthday present: something I really enjoy, by a good friend utilizing his talents at a studied skill. We looked for a place to setup, and had several possibilities, but finally got it going up in the game room as soon as the boys were up and out. And for the next hour ... Mmmmmmm!

After the massage, there was a flurry of activity to pack everything up. Even with hiring a cleaning service, there's still so much to do. In my haste, I didn't eat any of the remaining curry, but we got our group shot in. And with photoshopping in everyone who had to leave early, and editing out people's best shots, the result is this:

Finally, everything was out! We all lingered to say our goodbyes, then separated. Drove the t rash and the key over to the rental office, and met up with Superman, Precious, Shimai J, Gadget Boy, Girl Friday and Drummer Boy at McDonald's in the village. I mourned over the last of the curry, which I'd sent home with Music Man, and settled for an angus burger.

We left the McDonald's in time to get to the Arrowhead ward building. In time to arrive for the non-existant sacrament meeting! Turns out the info on the church website was incorrect, the ward members knew that it was wrong, and yet no one had corrected it. Oh well. As Precious said, "We should get points for trying."

The trip down the mountain would have been uneventful, aside from the walkie-talkies that kept things GB's and Precious' car in touch. I should have yelled "Ruffff-ina!" Oh, and GB following DB onto the wrong freeway exit.

After battling some traffic back to the west side, I was grateful to arrive at home. Kudos to GB who was basically solo after both Girl Friday and I crashed into slumber. I threw a load into the laundry and settled in for another nap, fully intending to get over to GB's to watch Planet of the Apes (point of pride that everyone was so busy having a good time doing other things that we didn't watch a movie this year). Woke up at 0200, and realized it was for the best. (Aside: after a few rounds of post-Arrowhead Halo, no one else was able to muster the ability to stay up another 2 hours for the movie either!)

Lake Arrowhead 2007 Day 2

I woke up early. Couldn't help it. Normally I'm a very good sleeper, having perfected the art over many years of dilligent research and application. However, whenever I'm at Arrowhead, I'm too excited (and it's too sunny) to stay in bed once I've woken up. So I crept upstairs and read a little out of Three Cups of Tea, a wonderful book that I'll blog about at Exponent Blog my next time.

So, originally, the plan was for everyone to be ready to go for geocaching around 1000. Didn't happen. Most people weren't even awake at that hour, much less changed and eaten. However, Shimai J, GB and Laughtear were, and we reached a concensus that Shimai J would make a special type of pancake, for which we needed flour. Quick run to the store, and then we were ready to partake of the deliciousness.


Finally, the geocachers were ready to go. Gadget Boy, Shimai J, Little Red-Haired Girl and Girl Friday in one car, and Drummer Boy, HSAAL, Mr. Giggles, Super Man and I in the next (especially good times for Gadget Boy and myself!). GB had mapped out a bunch of caches in the area, and we'd decided to go for the ones with really good views, so we headed down the 173. The first cache was at a little trail area. We were searching for something just off the trail, near the mini-monument, located between a rock and a hard place. Shimai J found the first cache. We all knew it had happened when she gave a little shriek followed by a triumphant shout. She further distinguished herself by ingenuously unlocking a couple's car ... they'd locked themselves out, and were looking at a long wait for AAA before Shimai J came and rescued them.


The second cache prooved a bit trickier. On a hillside, with paths slipperified by a myriad pine needles. There was much futile searching. However, Mr. Giggles decided to use his noggin, and set about decoding the clues. Mind over matter, Mr. Giggles found the second cache of the day.




As for the third cache? Well, they really tried. However, the caching gadgets were giving widly differing coordinates that just didn't make sense. In the end, we ended up calling it a wash, and heading back to lay in the lake.

Back at the house, I changed into water friendly gear and headed to the lake, Drummer Boy following. Yikes! The lake was really, really low. The lake algae, which we could barely see the tips of last year, were laid out along the lake surface like seaweed grown too tall for the ocean. This wasn't a problem for DB, who only wanted to lay out, but much more problematic for me, since I wanted to get into the water. And while I have no trouble with algae on a theoretical level, I don't like to see it, much less be enveloped by it. So, we trolled along the trail for a deserted dock with a covered boat. Found a conveniently located (and unlocked) one toward the opening of our small bay, and settled in.

I didn't ever actually get in the water, but I did douse myself with water regularly whenever I wasn't hiding under the cover of my beach towel. DB and I chatted about sundry things ... cabbages and kings and how Mormons-who-don't-fit-in fit in the Mormon church. The more I meet MWDFI, the more hopeful I am that the doctrines I have trouble with are temporal and not eternal.

At one point, I thought I saw several people from the house by the trees near the dock. I waved, but they didn't see me, and I doubted myself. Later, we saw SM and GB in the inflatable rowboat launching the speedster remote boat they'd gotten at the electronics store (which boat spent the remainder of the weekend on the mantle of the house).

Hunger then drove us all back to the house, where we found Improv-er, who'd been delayed by church responsibilities. A couple of showers later, and we were all headed to the local ribs house for dinner. Unfortunately, the place was incredibly small ... our whole party would have overrun the place. Fortunately, they had just enough food for us, and we got everything to go, at a very reasonable price. As we were exiting the place to get some more drinks and sides at Jensen's, the last two cars pulled up. After explaining everything, I sent them back to the house to get the tables ready.

When Paintbrush finally pulled in to the house, I heard drumming from the front room. "Good! Everyone's in a fun mood." I thought as we walked to the door. When I walked in, after hearing the thunderous, "SURPRISE!" I almost screamed! Balloons and streamers galore for my birthday! Can't even say how shocked and happy I was. It was totally by accident that Arrowhead was the weekend of my birthday, and I'd long since decided not to make a big deal of it. And aside from some felicities from T-Diddy in the morning, I'd pretty much forgotten about it. But really, it was my Best Birthday Ever. Ribs with all the trimming. Two kinds of cake (WW had called ahead), and then the music.





After dinner, some people headed up to play Halo, but the rest of us stayed downstairs while the boys got out their guitars, harmonicas and percussion instruments. MM had brought up a mini set of bongos, a mid-size modern bongo, a large single drum with an African design, and tons of different shakers and percussion instruments. HSAAL started up an impromptu birthday song for me, during which Improv-er displayed his Skiiilllz, and where WW even took a turn. HSAAL lead Mr. Giggles in a guitar jam by calling out chord progressions. Drummer Boy reprised the Primary Song Blues, and lead in a special Emo primary song medley. We sang old favorites like Hotel California. And everyone just jammed along with all the different things in MM's bag of tricks. Honestly, this was my favorite part of the whole weekend.





Probably the most hilarious and memorable event of the evening was Gadget Boy's creative and innovative towel dance. We'd been bugging him about performing all weekend, and he'd been most coy and evasive about it. However, the wait was worth it. It was the most I'd laughed in ages!

Sometime around 0100, we moved to the kitchen and started playing Catan. With Improv-er there, WW's supremacy was definitely challenged ... he won three of four games. Again, I was contender enough to threaten, but not enough to win. At some point, Mr. Giggles and HSAAL moved their two-man riffing gig to our table, and entertained us until the end with jokes, riffing, and breaking out into song. I didn't uderstand the references for half of what they were talking about, but they were so hilarious that I was compelled to laugh along.

We stopped playing around 0330. Most everyone went to sleep, but MM and I stayed to catch up on year's worth of events. I hardly ever see MM during the year, so its always good to catch up with him in person at Arrowhead.

Lake Arrowhead 2007 Day 1

Continuing with the Week of Fun ...

Going up to Lake Arrowhead again. This has been an annual tradition going on nine years now. I rent a house on the lake, and invite some of my nearest and dearest friends to come up and play. There was a little bit of drama leading up to the event, with last minute cancellations, an addition, and getting rides for everyone, but it just made the weekend away that much more enjoyable.

When Gadget Boy got to our place in the morning, he, Wonder Woman and I loaded up my car. Just as we were ready to go, Super Man called and asked if we had room in our car. Really, we didn't. But we all thought it would be such a blast for SM to come up with us, that we told him to meet us down here, while we repacked everything into GB's mini-SUV. After SM arrived (and after some fascinating chat on in-vitro and single-parenthood, and the untimely death of Spike, WW's bearded dragon lizard), we were finally off.

Trip up the mountain was fun. Stopped off for In-n-Out, and wrangled about homosexuality, Boy Scouts, Duty to God, Personal Progress, Young Womens vs Young Mens programs and budgeting/fund raisers, mostly in response to this discussion over at FMH, which took a slight detour in the comments.

Got up to the house, and found that Paintbrush and Little Red-Haired Girl had beat us to it. While we unloaded the cars, I finalized the room assignments, and we all settled in. Paintbrush and LRHG volunteered to do the grocery shopping (my apologies for sending you to the Stater Brothers when Jensen's was much closer). And, after discovering that there were one cable short for the Halo set-up, GB and SM took off for the local electronics store.


The rest of the afternoon was a blur. Laughtear and Drummer Boy arrived from behind the orange curtain. Mr. Giggles and Hop-Strum-and-a-Laugh arrived in a totally new car (the maiden voyage?) without even the plates. Music Man and T-Diddy came bearing a plethora of percussion instruments and big hugs. And Precious, Shimai J and Girl Friday were the last of the evening to arrive. Sadly, Drummer Boy didn't bring his camcorder, so there won't be any recapping of LRHG's House of Poo story.

When Paintbrush and LRHG got back from the store, we set into full-on curry-making mode ... everyone except Drummer Boy, Mr. Giggles and HSAAL, who dived into Guitar Hero, kindly providing the soundtrack for the afternoon. Laughtear was a wonderful sous-chef, and the curry was made in record time.


Again, the rest of the night was a blur. There was a lot of Guitar Hero-ing in the family room, and I think there was a lot of Halo-ing up in the game room. I remember playing Catan, but as WW won all the games, I wiped the specifics of the humiliation from my memory. I do remember that I was very close! THe best part of the evening was having a live concertino of guitar, harmonica and voice from Drummer Boy, Mr. Giggles and HSAAL. Drummer Boy is the best at picking out songs and accompaniments on guitar or harmonica. Mr. Giggles best at singing. And HSAAL intrigued me with an original piece, "Dreaming of You," which he played and sang very well.

Barbara Morrison sings the blues

Up to Lindy Groove for the 6th anniversary party. It's hard to believe that it's been six years since Sir Dancealot opened Lindy Groove, and now it's one of the most successful dance venues around. The whole night was a blur of fabulousness. Random memories:

Getting a copy of Doug Silton's Advanced Lindy Hop Connections for free because I was in the first fifty to buy my ticket on-line. I once tried to refer White Boy to take lessons with Doug, but Doug was really bad on the follow-up. However, Doug is an excellent teacher ... had had tons of dance experience, and has worked through theory and how to teach it. He's one of my favorite dance teachers, although he rarely teaches at Lindy Groove anymore.

Hanging out with LitheOne and Philly at the stage door when the dj'd music was too fast.

Barbara Morrison coming down off the stage and being celebrated with a jam circle. Joshing had to step in and bring her back to the stage so that the band could finish off the song.

Fabulous dances with Evincerator, His Vickness, Mr. Small and Screaming Matt.

Getting the Live at the 9:20 Special cd, and Barbara autographing it for me. She's such an electric performer, and very sparkly in person as well. Sort of like a really good rootbeer float ... pure enjoyment. If you're interested in seeing her perform, she'll playing in LACMA's summer jazz series on Friday, August 31 at 6pm. I'm planning on going before heading up to Paseo Colorado.

Leaving the building and feeling extremely salty.

And now we'll take a little break for some screaming

WooooooooHoooooooo!

Yeeeeeeaaaaaaahhhhh!

Haaaaaahahahahahahaha!

Wootwoot-can-I-hear-a-wootwoot!

Ahem ...

Yes. This morning I took and passed the American Association of Critical-Care Nurses CCRN pediatric critical care exam. And PASSED! (Repeat first four lines above).

Took a review course at my work a few years ago, and freaked out at the amount and intricacy of the material covered by the test. Didn't take the exam ... pushed it to the back of my mind and let it simmer. But I've lately had more incentive to bring the pot to a full boil.

My hospital is now applying for Magnet status. There's been a huge surge to improve the nursing staff and conditions ... lots of multidisciplinary committees, pushes to increase education, more nursing research projects, and encouragement to get additional certifications. So, my unit started a display in the hall with all the names of the CCRN nurses. So far there are about ten names. Now there will be eleven. And yes, while I don't generally like to admit to being that competitive and that petty that I'd rush to get my name on before a lot of others, I freely admit it in this instance.

Stopped posting on Exponent Blog to concentrate on studying (albeit ofttimes lackadaisically). Took half of the review course again. Sat for a practice exam. Listened to review mp3's until I thought I'd scream. And took this week off work to get in the last little bits of nitty gritty before the exam and my annual trip to Arrowhead.

Thoughts on the test? They're all given via computer at authorized testing centers. Like FK suggested, as soon as I stepped to my desk, I started jotting down notes on the provided scratch paper: ABG interpretation tips, heart chamber/vessel pressures, normal CSF test values, etc. The test was difficult. But that's really the point, isn't it? Found that I hate taking multiple choice tests on computer ... when it came to those questions where we had to choose the best answer out of several correct ones, I had to literally write down ABCD on my scratch paper and cross out the ones I was able to eliminate. I had difficulty with the cardio section because there were so many questions on cardiothoracic pre- and post-op patients ... which we rarely see because they go to the CTICU and not the PICU. However, I did really well in the Pulmonary, GI, Renal, Multisystem and Professional/Synery areas.

When I got my results, I uttered an elated "Yes!" under my breath. This swelled to a normal voice when I stepped outside the office. And became full on screaming when I got into my car! Turned up the radio loud (ahh ... my long lost friend the radio ... I can't wait to be reunited with NPR morning news), and alternatingly head bopped, screamed and laughed for about ten minutes. I think I stopped because the oxygen in my car ran out. The guy in the next car was pretty amused.

Got an hour Thai massage on the way home to celebrate.

And then, watched SYTYCD tonight. I LOVE THIS SHOW. I don't really want anyone to go home. Thoughts on the show (during which I indeed laughed, gasped and occassionally screamed):

Jessi and Pasha (jazz) ~ He is such a comic, and moves so well. Loved how he completes movements, like continuing his hand down her arm after the music finished. They were both sinuous and staccato per the wonderful choreography.

Sabra and Dominic (contemporary) ~ Amazing choreography paired with amazing partnering. When she did that foot pull, it looked like she actually slid him across the floor, eventhough he was really pushing with his arms. Such intricate, innovative and powerful movements. I was in awe.

Lacey and Kameron (Broadway) ~ The routine was okay. However, Lacey is really good at emoting while dancing, at least on the two choreographed pieces she's been on so far. I agree that he moue-ing during the auditions wasn't attractive. And, as much as I think Kameron's beautiful and is a good partner to Lacey, he doesn't seem to move as well when he's on his own. Plus, his shirt was ridiculous. They should have had him wear a vest.

Anya and Danny (Viennese waltz) ~ That reverse attitude spin was truly amazing. Anya is such a lovely dancer. I'm interested in seeing her do hiphop and contemporary. Didn't like the slapdash slashing of shiny material on her costume, but I guess it's less expensive than sewing on sequins just where they want them. Danny has such beautiful lines, but sometimes he just looks stiff and unnatural. Plus, as Wonder Woman astutely pointed out, he seems really cold.

Sara and Jesus (paso doble) ~ Thought the ballroom dance set to contemporary music was genius. His posture was a lot better than hers.

And even Neil (hip hop) and Jaimie (samba) stepped it up by performing so well out of their genres.

And lastly, although it didn't involve any screaming whatsoever, I went to the book club sponsored by my unit at work. It was held at FB's house, which was one of the major motivations, since she's just wonderful. And, Phillip Hawley, Jr, the author of Stigma was going to attend. It was really interesting to hear him talk about his writing process, and how the book eventually got published. Amazingly, Stigma is Hawley's debut book. Wrote it in his spare time. Had a friend look at it, who had another friend look at it, and two years later, it's published and selling at Costco (not that Costco is a purveyor of fine literature, but the book was just that promising). And so it is that a practicing pediatrician now has a contract with a major publishing house. Fabulous. And I have the autographed book to prove it.

A kind and thoughtful loan

I knew I was going to forget something ...

Wed, when I was down at DoT, Pilgrim girl made an extraordinary gesture of kindness that will have resounding implications for the future. Due to a new influx of comfy furniture, and the need to get down to the nitty-gritty of writing her dissertation, PG loaned me her digital piano! Small, but with a full-sized keyboard. Encased in a black wood cover and matching stand. Weighted keys that have a few different volume capabilities. Some fancy-schmancy tonal qualities. And a jack so that I can practice and not bother the neighbors. I'm so delighted!

Got it home Wed night, set it up, and played a bunch of Christmas songs from the hymnal, because I couldn't find the other music I wanted. Actually, the sheet music was all there, I was just looking for it in my music bag instead of on the shelf.

When I started taking piano lessons at the tender age of five, I didn't realize how much satisfaction music would give me. Neither did my parents. Of course it was a struggle to get me to practice, and sometimes my mother would have to put up with my groaning at weekly lessons. Of course there were times that I scooted the practice timer forward a couple of minutes when she wasn't looking. Of course there were times when I hated having to accompany at Saturday morning baptisms when my dad was ward, then stake mission leader/president.

But, there were so many compensations. Performing at school concerts. Having the upper hand on reading music when I took up clarinet in elementary school (for a year) and flute in junior high school (again, for a year). Learning to conduct music with Rowan Taylor (I wish I could say that I was a talented student, but the fact is that he volunteered his time to anyone in the stake who wanted to learn, which happened to be just my brother Bork and myself, urged out of bed Saturday mornings by my dad. This fact doesn't negate Taylor's talent, just the sensibilities of the stake members). Learning to sing alto. Understanding the flow of music that I dance to. Just so many benefits.

And not least of these is the intense personal satisfaction I have when I mastered a piece that speaks to my soul. Fur Elise when I was 8. Polonaise in G Minor by Chopin when I was about 12. The accompaniment to Adoration by Borowski (to play with JLITH on the violin) when I was 14. Where Do I Begin by Lai when in high school, borrowed from my AP English teacher (The Great One, as he was known to his teacher buddies, because he was multi-talented). And Reverie by Debussy somewhere around 20. My history in music is laid out in scrap books (more like accomplishments books with lots of printed programs and awards) lovingly compiled by my father.

I quit taking piano lessons somewhere around seventeen years of age. By then I had largely stopped practicing at all, and was much more obssessed with much pettier teenage superfluities.

About eight year ago, I started having cravings for music again. Little by little, I started to collect sheet music of songs that really spoke to me. I started playing at the church whenever I could sneak in a practice session. Dusted off a few old favorites, and started trying out a couple of new pieces. It became my goal to learn Debussy's Claire de Lune. I've gotten to the third page. Not very good progress.

However, now I have a good instrument that I have total access to. I've playing at least one song a day on it. I'm saddened at how stiff and weak my fingers are ... they trip maddeninly slowly over some of my old favorite pieces. However, there is progress. I'm slowly regaining mastery. I even slogged through the first movement of Beethoven's Moonlight Sonata tonight (which is not very difficult, I'm just a poor sightreader, and my hands have trouble spanning more than an octave ... which means that I also have trouble playing pieces by Lizst or the easiest of Rachmaninoff's).

And so it is that I now have a piano in my home again. Much gratitude to such a good friend.

Trying out my new, expensive and ugly shoes

Bork's birthday this past week. As a break, I told Bork and Genie that I would babysit for them down in OC so that they could get out and have some couple time.

On the way, I stopped at South Coast Plaza and bought these shoes. Really, they very ugly. And, they happen to be the most expensive shoes I've ever bought. But, in the quest for a stronger core, and less joint impact, I'm sufficiently intrigued enough to try themjavascript:void(0) out. They came highly recommended by one of the cardiologists at my work. She'd been having trouble with her back, and was recommended to try these by her physical therapist, and has been raving about them ever since. I tried them on earlier in the week, and was almost convinced, but decided to sleep on it.

Got over to the Dragon family home. Heard about their woeful experiences trying to golf for the first time. Luckily thy played a game called Scramble, so it wasn't too awful for the beginners. Bork mused about maybe having to take up the game to be more social with coworkers. Anyway, after a little whining from Bean Two, I shooed Bork and Genie out the door for a night of bowling. Turns out there's a company bowling night coming up, and Bork wanted to pep up his game!

The Beans were pretty good. Bean Three freaked out a little bit when Beans One and Two went out to play. But at least it wasn't awful-freaking-out ... he didn't fight me when I picked him up, just continued to cry until Bean One came and comforted him, and we gave him his nightly bottle a little early. Yes, I recognize that Stranger Anxiety is one of the developmental stages of infancy, I just don't like it much.

When it got dark, Beans One and Two trooped in and started playing with the legos. I'm so glad that they're at an age where they can entertain themselves. I pulled on my ugly, expensive shoes, and walked around the apartment ... back room to living room to back room to living room ...

Put Bean Three down to sleep at 1930, and turned on the fan for a little white noise. He cried for about six minute, then settled into sleep. He was so quiet that I snuck in just to make sure he was breathing.

Beans One and Two got tired of playing, and came to ask for some ice cream. After some hard bargaining, I got them to eat some more of their veggies from dinner, and they each had a scoop of rocky road. Both Beans show excellent taste, choosing the better path ... chocolate instead of vanilla.

As I started washing the dishes, the boys started to wrestle. Then Bean Two started whining, which is par for the course. Then he started whining louder, and Bean One started protesting his innocence. At which point I put them in separate chairs in the living room and told them to stay put. Bean One settled in, but Bean Two kept wailing. At one point, B1 tried to tell me something, but I couldn't hear him. So when I finished risning the dish in my hand, I turned around. Funnily enough, Bork and Genie walked in the door at that moment, and we all found out what B1 had been trying to tell me ... B2 (still wailing) had peed his pants! What was there to do but laugh? Good thing that Bork and Genie are disposing of the furniture (all scavenged from decades worth of old furniture at my parents' house) when the summer is over. Hopefully B2 won't be emotionally scarred for life, and will have many future happier peeing moments.

Blues dancing in Santa Monica

Last night, during a shoeless dance with Philly, he mentioned that a few people were getting together to blues bomb Harvelles. Blues bomb? I thought I'd heard wrong, but I was intrigued.

So, 2200 found me settling in to a swanky, dimly lit bar on 4th street. Not seeing anyone I knew, but finding solace in the grooving beats of Dennis Jones. After not-too-long, I saw Catydid, and we huddled together and laughed as we both longed for a couple of good blues dancing leads. Of course, there were a couple of people moving around on the dance floor, but it was more like being at a junior high school dance than a blues venue.

Catydid explained about blues bombing. Apparently it means that you get a bunch of people to dance at a place where blues or lindy isn't normally the thing. I guess it's much more dramatic to blues bomb a coffee shop instead of a blues bar. However, the thought of introducing dancing at a non-dancing place made me smile.

The bar scene is really very foreign to me. I saw one guy sitting at the bar who personified everything wrong about the bar scene. Alone. Youngish. Wearing a white sweater, thus our immediately naming him Sweater Guy. Sweater Guy wore a rather vulnerable and uneasy look. He wasn't talking to anyone. Didn't look like he was friends with anyone. At one point, he got up to go to the restroom. When he came back, his seat was taken. He stood uncertainly by for a few minutes, before taking another seat at the back of the bar. I just couldn't figure out why he would come out to a venue like this, without friends, and without even seeming to enjoy the music. Catydid and LitheOne imagined up a few scenarios. Sweater Guy had just turned 21, and none of his friends could take him out, so he decided to go alone for his first legal drink. OR, Sweater Guy was waiting for a blind date who just never showed up. I can't remember any of the other ones. I wanted to help him, but I couldn't think of anything that wouldn't sound insulting, so I did nothing.

Anyway, Catydid and I were soon joined by Philly, LitheOne and Arthur. And then things started to sizzle. At one point, LitheOne and Arthur were the only ones moving on the (admittedly small) floor. When the song ended, there was applause all around ... they are really quite slinky.

Dancing to the live band was difficult ... they played mostly fast music, with a hint of rockabilly. However, we were able to get in a few slowish songs during the live sets, and some more during the dj'd breaks.

Took Catydid to the back of the bar to practice leading Nightclub two step for one song. I'm really excited about teaching this to the mid-singles at the end of July, and have been watching this clip of Foosball at the MAC. Makes me long for the easy, groovy dancing there.

It's a So You Think You Can Dance summer

Came home from another great DoT discussion. I should have gone straight to sleep, since I had to work in the morning. Did I? Nope. How could I, with a new episode of SYTYCD ready and waiting for me on the tivo?

How was it? Absolutely fantastic! Midway through, Wonder Woman came down to finish watching with me.

Lacey and Kameron danced Mia Michale's choreography beautifully. This one was my favorite piece of the evening.

Sara and Jesus did an absolutely fabulous piece by Wade Robson. WR is such an amazing chorepgrapher ... so innovative and creative. I wonder what it must be like to live in his head.

Shauna and Jimmy did this great piece by Tyce Diorio. Confess that I don't always like Diorio's stuff, but I loved how this piece was so fun, joyful and energetic.

Sabra and Dominic did a great piece by Doriana Sanchez. Sanchez's stuff can be really corny, but it just made me smile. As did Dominic's pants.

And, I even enjoyed Anya and Danny doing the jive. I generally don't like jive numbers, but Tony Meredith made this piece much more current by using an Avril Lavigne song, and not being too hokey.

I love, Love, LOVE this show! I think I got to sleep around 0100.

And, I'll just include these couple of clips of dancers who didn't make the top 20, but who I still thought were amazing.

Brian Gaynor doing the robot. I want to show this clip to all the kids who come in to my hospital for spinal fusions for scoliosis.
Phillip Chbeeb showing the world what's new in popping. I love it when he wiggles his boneless arms and pushing his chin around.
Caitlin Cucchiara
And I loved the clogger kid, but can't seem to find any clips of him.

Just beneath the surface

Small talk. One of my less favorite things to do in the world. My standard answer to the ubiquitous question, "So, what's new with you?" is pretty standard: work and dancing. Really, that's it. Not even any international travel plans this year.

But dig a little deeper, and there's tons going on.

At work this past week, I took care of a patient with his guts in a sac outside his body. I've taken care of patients with opened chests, where the heart is visible under a transparent betadine patch, but I don't think I've ever taken care of a patient with a surgically extruded organ. Bizarre. Anyway, eight year old patient with a malrotation and volvulus. MD Spaniard, came back with the patient from the OR and said that they couldn't close the abdomen because of the major swelling of the entire small intestine, so they piled the small intestines onto the abdomen, covered it with a plastic sheet, and sutured the sheet to the edges of the incision. It looked like a six inch, bloody stack of cd's on his belly. Good thing I'd put the egg crate on the bed before they took it to pick up the patient, because we weren't even allowed to turn the patient ... which could have kinked off parts of the already injured bowel.

The next day, they took the kid back to surgery to see if they could salvage any of the small intestines, but it was a no-go. They had to resect all of it, leaving only a small portion of the duodenem to save the insertion site of the head of the pancreas. Poor kid will need a small bowel transplant, and maybe even a liver and pancreas if they can get it.

Another day, I taught NM how to work the hemofiltration machine. Hemofiltration is like hemodialysis, except slower. What dialysis does in a matter of hours, filtration does over days. Filtration is gentler, and a better choice for unstable pediatric patients who have temporary renal issues. We've had a run on renal failures lately. Lots of kids on hemofiltration, peritoneal dialysis and even those who get bedside hemodialysis. We're only missing the kidney transplants, which is a shame, since I really like those types of cases. Anyway, it was lucky that my (different) patient needed a circuit change that very day. We'd discontinued the hemofiltration earlier in the day to trial the patient off in preparation for dialysis, but the patient became too unstable, and the lytes were going crazy. So, the didactic class instructors were able to have the class prime and initiate a new circuit. Good timing, since sometimes it can be months between hemofiltration cases, by which time the class members have lost a lot of the info they learned in class.

So, I taught NM how to run the circuit. After the first two hours, she was able to assume total patient care, and used me as a backup. Busy kid. Some baseline neuro-cognitive deficits that will be exacerbated by the lithium overdose that bought her to the hospital in the first place. Nasty stuff, lithium. They had to start her on hemofiltration to remove the lithium. When her levels got down to below detectable, they took her off the circuit. But since lithium is stored in the tissue, her levels shot up after a few hours. The neurology team is pretty certain that she will have some permanent functional deficits after her acute symptoms resolve. At least she will be followed by our team from now on, not the crackpot local team that had her on too many antipsychotics in the first place.

ECMO staff meeting the other week. We may be starting use of a new pump specifically for the post-op heart patients. Which will mean cross-training for the CTICU and PICU ECMO nurses.

And, dancing ...

Wonderful night of dancing at Lindy Groove. An almost perfect dance with StretchJ. He really excells at the faster tempos, which I tend not to like. But, there are songs that are just at the higher end of my tolerance, and at the lower end of his, where our dancing is just superb.

A great, break-laden song with Sociologist. He uses a lot of weight behind many of his crazy lock-turns, etc. And I love those moves because he maintains firm-but-painless connection. And because he especially loves doing those moves with me because he likes the way I counterbalance. So good, especially if the music is more moderately tempo'ed.

And lastly, my favorite new leader of the night, D-Roca. Really, he looks like Mo Rocca (who I find adorable), except with a really bushy head of hair. D-Roca was celebrating his birthday this week, and his style was so funky that I had to jump in on his birthday dance. Later, we grooved a little to some alt-swing music, and it was a blast. Finding new, danceable leads is such an A-Ha/discovery moment.

And, more dancing ...

Tivo failed to record SYTYCD on Wed and Thu. What a tragic disappointment. Spent Friday morning scavenging info and dance clips on the net to appease my inner demons. In the process, I decided that, instead of swing or salsa, that I would teach Nightclub Two Step for the mid-singles FHE in July. I just can't stand teaching east coast swing anymore. Besides, NCTW is super easy, and much better suited for contemporary music. And, I found this clip of Jeremy and Monica doing NCTS. Jeremy is one of my favorite leads to dance with in Utah, and it made me curiously happy to see him dancing NCTS and West Coast Swing. In the WCS clip, Jeremy even does those he-goes-she-goes travelling turns that he's so good at leading. Utah is a long way to go for NCTS and WCS, but I generally can't make it out for WCS on Thursday because I go to Lindy Groove, or Sundays, when there's dancing at Memories, but I choose to stay home. Anyway, seeing people at the Murray Arts Center made me realize how much I miss dancing there.

Incidentally, Jeremy reminds me of His Vickness. Neither are flashy dancers. They don't stand out because of crowd-pleasing moves. They stand out because they are fantastic leads that interpret the music well, are very ogranized and clear in their lead, and allow the follow to just relax and enjoy the dance.

So, I've decided to teach NCTS, and am putting together a lesson, and I've recruited a friend to help me teach. Fun!

Also, there's just a ton of dancing during the summer! The LA and SM YSA's are doing a summer dance series on Wed nights. Dancing Under the Stars in Pasadena on Fridays and Saturdays starting in July. Camp Hollwood at the end of July. And Paladino's in open every Tuesday in the summer. I feel like dancing all summer!

Yes, there's really only work and dancing occupying me nowadays. But there's plenty going on just below the surface.