Channeling Maria

Lately, I’ve been feeling beautiful. It’s quite a nice feeling, and I’m enjoying it immensely.

Now, I don’t think I’m unpleasant looking. I know that with a blowdrier, makeup and a pulled-together wardrobe, I can make myself look quite good. But I also know that I look just fine on my own. So, because it’s such a hassle for the day to day, I generally go clean-faced, and with functional rather than cute outfits.

But, lately I’ve been feeling beautiful. Almost like I should be dancing in the back room of a dress shop with my best friends, singing, “I feel pretty! Oh so pretty! I feel pretty and witty and gay!” And really, it’s more than just feeling pretty. I feel strong and confident and capable.

It’s rather a mystery to me why the sudden surge of well-being surrounding my 35th birthday. Because I rather expected to feel disappointed and depressed. As a single, LDS woman, who’s not currently dating, and who can sense the ticking of the ubiquitous biological clock, it wouldn’t be surprising to feel a bit blue. But I’m not.

This almost reminds me of that dream I had long ago … when I felt absolutely reassured that I would experience a passionate and all-encompassing love in my lifetime. Except that this current state of well-being is based solely on myself. And, for whatever the cause, I’m immensely grateful. Like Robert Benigni's movie, I feel that, "La vita e’ bella!”