Sunstone Day 2

Are Boys More Important Than Girls? The Conflict Between Gender Difference and Equality in Mormonism

Margaret Toscano
Questions asked by 8 year old boy as father and older brothers went to PH GC session. When his mother patiently said no and explained to him why, he said that he didn't believe her; God and Christ are men, and only men have the PH.
Women being essential ~ doesn't necessarily mean that men and women are equal
Early feminists argued communality with men.
Later feminism – earlier themes only benefited men and man-like women
Postmodern Feminist – don’t want categorization of women
2 Nephi – man/woman, black/white, bond/free
Proc on Family – preside vs subordinate
Equal in worth, but assigned different worth, same capabilities but different responsibilities?
Pres Hinckley – The Women in Our Lives. Duality of male/female is God’s design. Blames divorce mostly on men.
Church is still patriarchal. Concessions given to women dependent on discretionary power of men.
Encouraging to find photos in the Ensign of women actively involved in the gospel, not necessarily as wives or mothers, but as teachers and scriptural students.
RS is “oldest women’s organization,” but still dependent on male authority at all
levels; callings and releases always done by men
3rd World Feminism – response to hegemony of white first-world women, provides model for critique
70% of LDS women surveyed are content with role in church, self-selecting survey?
Most say that they don’t want to have extra responsibility (if women had the HD, the men would get lazy and women would have to shoulder even more responsibility). Is having or desiring more than they have is to be dissatisfied with own gender and sex? Leaving it up to God?
Views on feminism closely tied to individual experience. Should subjective feelings resolve church issues? Questioning is apostate? Conforming is unthinking? Few willing to forfeit church membership to voice concerns.
Ambiguity surrounding desire for priesthood. Power Hungry (article by Lorie Winder Stromberg). Accept and define church responsibility
Present structure reflects will of God? PH generally used to reflect stewardship, not power. Most men do not have leadership roles … can feel emasculated if not
holding leadership callings. Not wanting to be termed ambitious in regards to callings
Limit our agency to express and develop talents and gifts

Mary Ellen Robertson
Impatient advocate of gender equity
A matter of fortune for women to have experience with righteous/equitable men?
How can we learn to share power, when we're taught that the desire for unrighteous dominion is immediate upon receiving power?

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A Testimony of Motherhood: LDS Response to Changing Women's Roles, 1940-2006
Carrie Miles

LDS response to changing women’s roles 1940-2006 (Carrie Miles, PhD)

Churches have boundaries between self and other. When join church, agree to these
boundaries. Examples: temple garments, WoW
Institutional double bind. Change vs. not change? flexibility or rigidity?
Gender norms. Content analysis of Improvement Era and Ensign re: women’s issues
Archives and lds.org
Most conservative religions resisted women moving out of the house.
LDS church more difficult time because of “divine role of women.”
Married w/children markers of a godly life. However, not part of doctrine of other religions
However, LDS teaches God is literally male, and gender is eternal, eternal family roles
Prior to mid 20th century, society and religion had pretty much same ideas on woman roles
More talk on women’s role in 1940’s as women move out of the home during the war effort
McKay: divine role of motherhood only can be given by women. No nurseries, other paid caretakers can take the place
Great return to domesticity post WWII, issues died down
Bragging about women’s accomplishments, but should still seek to marry and have children
Mother vitally involved in production in the home, not just tidying up.
However, with development of automation,
Men leaving household to seek outside employment
Children not needed to do chores, more schooling, more and more expensive before can be a producer within the home.
Birth rate dropped
1930’s – children must go to school, child labor laws
1960’s – 14% women employed in 1940’s. 40% WOMEN employed in 1960’s.
Women’s role in household no longer critical to survival, become expensive luxuries
ie: keeping the hearth fire burning
Church responded by resisting.
1963 ; Kimball exhorts women to stay out of the workforce. Women belong in the home
with traditional woman’s work. (repeat in 1977 as president of church)
Barlow (BYU prof) expressed women working outside the home challenged husband’s power
Packer 1977 – man needs to feel dominant in the home
LDS lit subsequently dropped "dominant" … changed to “preside”
Burke Petersen (1974) earning a few more dollars, etc … satanic greed? Must go to God in prayer to get confirmation. Other church members, family members or even fathers can not substitute as enlarging on 1942 statement
1978 – Patriarchy and Politics: the Plight of the Mormon Women (written by non-member). Term patriarchy becoming pejorative, abandoned by other religions.
Double bind. Harder to do missionary work and keep more liberal members
LDS women participating in workforce at same rate as non-member women?
LDS women who work, families need double income
1970’s – more accommodation, some women must work, they are exceptions, However, common enough that writers and speakers must enumerate conditions that are acceptable

Women’s need to be outside the home more than about financial need. Women urged to put family’s need ahead of own
1977 – Camille Kimball – not all of lifetime can be filled with children. The years after 40 and 50 look bleak. Need some absorbing subject for study and research

Pres Benson 1987 – fireside then made to pamphlet. Quote “Mothers come Home,” no career approaches mundane tasks of housewifery. Very out of step with recent accommodations

Made no difference? RS presidency article about child care options (Jack presidency?)

1996 – Hinckley talked about Benson’s talk. Sustains the position. Nevertheless … some women who have to work to provide for needs of families … do the best you can

2000’s – Hinckley in hospital, nurse with three children
Whole gamut is available to women … young women need to study it out and prepare.

Many had to renegotiate commitments to church in 60’s

Proclamation on Family redefining boundaries, scriptural division of labor (cut and paste). Talk about motherhood in testimony bearing terms, divinity of motherhood, implying women are superior to men. Eve was God’s masterpiece, made last. S. Dew: doctrine of motherhood … divine role is true

Good organizational approach. Won’t change in response to feminists, since they don’t join churches anyway. Emphasizing positives that don’t alienate those who can’t participate? Birth control – opposed by all churches when introduced. LDS church took different tactic by stressing importance of large families

I liked Miles' presentation. Bought her book The Redemption of Love: Rescuing Marriage And Sexuality from the Economics of a Fallen World and have started reading it. A conservative approach, but I find myself agreeing more than disagreeing with her.

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Why We Stay

Cherry Silver
Accepted living peculiarly as a commitment.
1950 return to SLC. Family environment was such that felt open to examine church practice and doctrine. After living in the fringes, was again in the center
Intellectual integrity.
Travelled around the world with husband. Only LDS family in the country (on African continent).
1988 called to open the mission in Cote d’Ivoire. Needed to be bold, courageous, adaptable and shrewd. After 8 months transferred to Zaire for security reasons. Accosted by rebels. Local commander arrived, shared treasure in trunk: pamphlets on JS.
Four Principals
Fulfilling inner spiritual life, recognize divine direction, no violation w/impunity
Church structure within which we can interact with others. Served in 1990’s on RS general board. Stay in church to offer service.
Pragmatism and irony. All institutions have flaws. God’s sense of humor
Life of zest. Communication with community

J. Bonner Ritchie
Friend’s difficulty: mind vs heart, stay or go? Personally choose to believe as we do … “our” truths. Private, conflicted, paradoxical and changing. Idiosincratic stories, but hope for authenticity. In response to Oaks, not an alternative voice, but an honest voice.
Must preserve freedom of the mind, and the room to try and make mistakes
Sunstone article, “Why I like being a Mormon.” How can you remain? “We like being Mormon.” Interview with Donohue? Greely (if all left who dissented, who would pay
the light bills?)
Difficulty w/LDS is not in getting them to conform, but in getting them to think
I love (constructive) conflict … easier to talk about Hezbollah motivations than own
personal story
“By proving contraries, the divine in made manifest” by JS
Bishop Woolly – not going to leave church because of BY’s “dumb” decision.
Organizations not perfect, all immoral. D&C explains that authority easily leads to unrighteous dominion.
(Me: Need more substantial checks and balances within church to counter ecclesiastical abuse. We need a better system to deal with unrighteous leaders ... allowing them to stay in authoritative positions gives their actions implicit legitimacy. I don't think it's enough to offer plattitudes that the atonement will make everything all right. Yes, in the end it does, but how many are lost along the way?)
Mature person – hold two opposing opinions at same time. Keep things in balance. 5-6. 1 is true believer. 10 is enemy. 5 barely in, 6 barely out. Making decisions on the margin feels good.
(Me: reminds me of Juanita Brooke's father amd riding on the edge o the herd)
We can never make organizations safe for people, we can only make people safe for
the organization. Need dynamic tension between liberal and conservative ideologies in leaders. BYU interview … need to define “liberal” before answer question.
Demanding all or nothing is dooming self to life of frustration

Shirley Paxman
Indelible Mormon
“Cherish your doubts, they are the attendants of truth." Must be questionable. Those who silence doubt, live in fear.
Grieve for where RS lesson have gone. RS has lost the magazine, the budget, then the lessons. Lesson which had been taught and written by brilliant women now replaced. Lessons now written by and about men. Read “Lament” by Molly Bennion in Dialogue
Lived all over the world. Worked in nursing.
Are we too defensive and not informed enough about our religion
Lived in Turkey. Know nothing about Islam. Read Koran and “Life of
Mohammed.” Found to be very parallel to life of JS
Religion – wants the good for the lives of subscribers
Stay because it’s my milieu. Defines life, relationships and God. A of F, esp #8
Stay because of humanitarian efforts made by church

Armand Mauss
Peculiar question. With family or nation. Voluntary relationship
Why should we stay? Revealing: how salient and pervasive this question is among a new
generation of church members, Failure of church to provide enough answers, despite seminary, institute and BYU education.
Have never contemplated leaving. Stubbornness?
Like English, distinguish between gospel and church. Would still keep gospel values w/in or w/out church. Choice vs empirical certainty
Still has doubt … inevitable coimpanion of deep thought. No apologies. Contrary to skeptics and atheists … many still adhere to beliefs and assumptions, even if can never be verified. Unfalsifiable beliefs/assumptions.
Wisdom of trying to live by s=gospel principles … setbacks and unhappiness
experienced in times of rebellion? Living indefinitely with ambiguity is a sign of maturity? Atonement works, don’t need to discover why. Repent as go along.
Outlook on church different from religious beliefs. Perspective and understanding of history. Church, although having a divine origin, as essentially human institution is
not immune from human change. Expectations different, occasionally disappointed but never disillusioned. Agency before obedience.
Would like to see church more humane … retention of members. More candor about facts as well as truths. Ignorance makes one vulnerable
Stay to help mitigate systemic problems. Not a reformer. But have talents to contribute. Have some influence with the Bretheren which would not exist without membership

Molly Bennion
Lutheran upbringing. Father reiterated, “To thine own self be true.” Friends leave the church with many of the same complaints. Lonely, miss them. Church is the loneliest place I go to regularly

Me: This was my favorite session the whole conference. Even bought the cd of this session to share with a few people.

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Went to lunch with Jana and the rest of the people who wanted to meet and greet. However, I was pretty unsocial the rest of the symposium.
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For Better, For Worse, For Apostacy? How Faith Issues Affect Couple Relationships.

In this session, three couples shared their experiences with spouses whose beliefs have changed since their temple marriages. Ronda and Michael Callister, Page and Tom Kimball and Ruth Ogden and John Halstead. If the previous session was my favorite, this was my second favorite. I won't go into the details about what they talked about, but I was encouraged by each person's commitment to their spouse and family, and how they have navigated their individual faith journeys, and decided to stay married to each other in the face of such drastic changes in their belief systems. I've heard so much about couples who are unable to reconcile their differences, and end up divorcing, that I'm relieved to find that a strong marriage can weather even such rocky shores as these.

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Took a wrong turn coming out of the parking lot, and ended up passing the British Pantry store. How extremely odd to have a store like this in the heart of SLC. Anyway, I dutifully turned around and bought some chocolates and Mcvitties like any other obssessed chocoholic. Also got some Thai-seasoned chips which were quite delectable.

When I got back to the house, Genie had cooked up a tasty and colorful rice and fish dish. We feasted on her cooking. Then we played a game of Catan. Which was painfully slow since the Utah-ites of the clan hardly ever play when I'm not around. I've counselled them to get groups together to practice so that they'll be more suitable co-gamers for me, but I'm not sure that they took the hint. Genie ended up winning, and I was just glad that the game was over.

Also watched the LDS version of Pride and Prejudice, and chuckled with Boss made his appearance as Collins. Somehow, the ridiculous characters made more of an impression than the so-called protagonists. Collins made me laugh, Caroline Bingley was just about perfect, Lydia was a pretty good modern interpretation, and Wickham was appropriately charming and dastardly. Maybe someday I'll reenact the crossing of the plains as part of a honeymoon. Sadly, I have no hope that I'll ever be able to sleep inside a buffalo.