One of the places I go to for a bit of clarity

Went up to Temescal Canyon to do some hiking today. I mostly go when I feel strong enough to do it, or wish that I were. I always go alone ... that way I don't have to worry about keeping up with someone (because the ridge trail usually kicks my butt!), and I can go as slowly as I want. The trail is isolated enough that I never have to stay within visual distance of anyone, but sufficiently populated that I always feel safe. I usually am passed by at least one trail runner each time I go ... it's really rather humiliating to see them nimbly running up the path that I'm laboriously cloncking along on, but I comfort myself with the idea that as I am, they once were, etc etc.

The ridge trail starts with a series of steep switchbacks which gets me to the top of one of the ridges. My body generally gets me this far before it poops out. From here on out, it's really my mind that just lugs my body along. It takes me up and over and up and up and up ... then over and down, up, over, up, up and ... well, you get the picture. Let me clarify that in between all this "up" business, there are ever expanding views of the Pacific ocean. It's a huge basin of blue sky over an even bluer sea ... I can see clear up the coast into Malibu, and down to the outer reaches of the South Bay. And let me tell you, I take plenty of opportunity to catch my breath while I "appreciate" the grandeur and beauty of the scene before me (and I'm not talking about the palatial Palisades either). There's another set of switchbacks (but these are mostly shaded ... hooray) before the long last sunny trek to the highest point. Always glad to get there, not the least because there is a rock that is just perfect to rest my tired bum on and ponder a bit.

Today was a bit overcast in the morning. I passed several sluggish lizards trying to catch some rays, and even managed to touch a tail or two before they scurried away. Flowers in colorful profusion ... every color of the rainbow. The stream was full, and the waterfall (which I'm so grateful for, what's a trail without a little water to cool and soothe) was quite delightful.

Anyway, stopped at the top for a bit to listen to my inside voices, which sometimes get drowned out by the noise of everyday living. My excitement for all the fun plans I have for this summer. My sadness that a major portion of my family is moving to Utah. My incredulity at being yet another year older. My loneliness at having no romance in my life. My gratitude for supportive family and friends. My determination to accomplish many things this year. And so I exorcised the foreign voices that I needed to be rid of, and obtained a bit of clarity.