Ch-ch-change

My life is about to change drastically. I'm a little anxious, but very excited.

I've been thinking about buying a house for a while. I remember a conversation with Mr. Baritone a few years ago ... he was watching the market for a good time to buy. I was at that point too lazy to do much more than dream, and tried to learn from his experience. I also spoke with HG at work. She recommended her mortgage broker to me. I got the info, and put it aside.

Fast forward a few years. I've been putting money away in my Roth account. The housing market took a dreadful plunge. The time is looking right. And then I happened to hear Wonder Woman and T Diddy discussing it. I moved in and listened. And Wonder Woman started talking about a seminar she was going to attend for first time home buyers. She thought that T Diddy and I would be interested, and emailed us the info. Funnily enough, it was the selfsame mortgage broker that HG had recommended to me. T Diddy ended up not being able to attend, but that seminar was definitely a turning point for me.

This year is the year to buy a place. The market is right, there is the $8K tax credit, and I am at a place where I want my own space. At this point, I'm leaning toward a condo in a bustling, urban place, but we'll see.

The first change is that I am doing a schedule of nights. It's been a while since I've worked the night shift, and I'm not sure how my body will react. But I'm lucky enough to have managers who are willing to work with me, and let me have my way on this. I could find that I hate nights, and will just leave it at the six weeks I've signed up for. Or, I may find that it is tolerable, and continue on nights for a few months.At this point, I don't know, but I'm willing to explore. I feel quite lucky that I am able to alter my finances within my current job, instead of being locked into a fixed income.

The second change is that I am going to move back to my childhood home and live with my parents. This is a good decision, since it will help me save a lot of money to help set up my new home, wherever I end up. However, it will mean giving up a lot of the freedoms that I so enjoy. It will be more difficult to get together with friends. I won't have a convenient place to hold parties. No cable or DSL. And a certain restriction on space and how I use it. And yet, I think it will be good. I will be able to help my parents out with cooking and laundry. I will be present and able to care for my father after he has surgery in a few months. I will be able to spend more time with my mother, and hopefully the nephews when they visit the homestead.

Buying my own place also involves getting over my own emotional blocks to settling in one place. I'd always thought of home buying as someone one does as a family, something to do after I had a husband. It seems strange and burdensome to be the sole person on a mortgage. Is this how my brother Bork feels as he contemplates buying a house for his Genie and the beans? This disconcerting weight of responsibility that can't be shifted off onto another person? Buying a place also ties me to Los Angeles. I don't really mind, but it sometimes feels like a fetter. I've always had the reassurance that I could find a job anywhere ... where don't they need nurses? And while I've never had a particularly strong inclination to live anywhere else, it's strange to think that I can't just up and move anywhere it takes my fancy.

I have no idea where or when I will find a place. I would rather urban than suburban. I jsut know that I want wide, open spaces. Every time I enter a small place with small rooms, I feel like knocking down walls. When I think of my dream place, I always think of the apartment that Mimi was renting in Paris. Marais, I think. There was a large central courtyard that would be a good place to congregate for party overflows. The apartment had a large open space that was a combination of bedspace, living space, art studio and dining area. The kitchen was bright, functional, and friendly. Small bathroom area. And one bedroom that the owner had locked all her personals and valuables in. And windows that stretched from the tall ceilings to the floor! Such light as entered that place! I would fill such a space with friends and books and creativity and comfort and color and dinners and love. And even a kitty.