The Second Vision

I had that vision again. Or, rather, it was the second part of the first one, so along ago. All I know is that I clung to it even as Aurora’s tendrils inevitably extricated me from the dream world where I longed to remain. I woke most reluctantly, to a distant knocking I thought may have been at my door. Forlornly, I went to answer it, and was greeted only by the crisp morning air. And yet the comfort and hope of the vision remain.

About eight years ago, I remember feeling very disgruntled. I’d dreamed my whole life of being in love … the dramatic, earth-shattering, soul searching and transformative love that comes with much pain and even greater joy. And as time marched ever steadfastedly onward, I began to lose hope that I would ever find it. And then I had the first vision. I cannot remember much of it, only that I awoke with the deepest satisfaction that someday I would have the passionate love that I dreamed of. I knew that sometime in my existence, I would experience the body and soul engulfing love that I longed for. I knew that I could not settle for shoddy imitations.

The intervening years have been amusing, but ofttimes lonely. And more lonely most recently. However, this morning I had a vision that I’d found it, that miraculous love, and the man who I will share it with. I won’t bother with physical descriptions of my dream lover … they are only hazy at best. However, I can still feel that immense relief at knowing another soul, being known, and sharing deeply joyful love. A love that demands that I sacrifice the unworthy parts of my being. A love that propels me to magnify the best parts of myself. A complete love, encompassing storge, agape, philia and eros. A thrilling love, open to the possibility of exploring new worlds.

Somewhere, I remember reading, “The heart is a lute/ Touch it/ And the strings resound.” My whole being is thrumming with the resounding chord, searching for that matching chord. Maybe it’s a delusion. The overwrought desires of an emotional woman. In some dim corner of my mind, I’m prepared for it to be so. However, at this moment, I have a renewed sense of the possibility of the miracle of love.