Obasan

Thanks to my brother Spork, who scanned and sent this out to the family. This is my favorite picture of my grandmother (obasan in Japanese) and mother. The actual photo measures maybe 5.5x8 centimeters, but was taken in such good focus, that a standard 8x10-ish enlargement still looks sharp.

My grandfather met my grandmother through his friend, who was courting my eldest great aunt. The courtship of my grandmother's sister is significant because it was a love match, which was rather uncommon at the time. From what my mother has told me about my great aunt, she was an intellectual and very independent. Maybe that's where the feminist influence in the family started. She would have had to have been very determined and strong, because she divorced her husband when she found out that he was keeping a mistress (with no intention of giving her up), which was rather common at the time. It must have been a hard decision, given the status of women then (and which still lags behind the current US understanding, or at least mine). However, she did so, and was rather reviled by her family, including her children.

My eldest great aunt and grandmother are the two women at the right of the front row. My grandfather is the stylish one in the sunglasses, and his unfaithful friend is just to the right.


My mother was born in Manchuria, China, when it was still being occupied by the Japanese. My grandparents had emmigrated there to help an uncle (I believe) who had a rather lucrative munitions factory. In 1941, most Japanese women were at least in the process of transitioning to western style dress and hairdos, although most used kimonos for special occassions. Here, it looks like they're all wearing white, or light colored yukata (cotton summer kimono) for a beach party.


They lived in a large and prosperous house, and the pictures of the grounds and furnishings are rather grand. However, when the war started going badly, the whole family moved back to Japan, and lived in and around Tokyo.

My grandfather died when I was about 1 year old. So, although there are pictures of him holding me (or at least I think there are), I have no recollection of him beyond the stories that relatives have told me. My grandmother continued to be a pervasive figure in my life. She divided her time between Japan and the US, and helped us develop our childish and colloquial Japanese, taught me many things about being an ojo-san (young lady), taught me to sew and knit, introduced us to Japanese programming like Oshin, Miyamoto Musashi and Kage no Gundan, and took very good care of me when I was very ill. She died in 2005, after a long struggle with pain, immobility and a questionable blood disorder. None of us were able to make it out on such short notice before the funeral. She has been cremated, and we're not sure whether her remains are going to be placed in the family mausoleum (out in the countryside), or if space will be foudn to place her in Tokyo, along with my grandfather and adopted aunt (as was my grandmother's wish). When I contemplate her death, I'm a little saddened, but it's hard to let it go much farther than that beccause I know how much she suffered near the end, and I believe in the immortality of the soul and eternal progression. When a year has passed, we will be able to do her temple work and seal her yo my grandfather. In my mind's eye, I can see her reunited with my grandfather, and tsk-tsking at her hoydenish grand-daughter with a smile.

Anyway, as you can tell, my knowledge of the harder faacts is rather, well, soft. Will have to do more recording with my mother. Shortly before her seath, my grandmother wrote her life history, at my mother's prompting. It's still in Japanese, bu we have plans to translate it into English so that her US grandchildren will be able to read it. I predict that it will be a slow process, but I am very interested to know more about this woman with whom I was able to easily converse so little with.